The Diary Room: Prologue
by X5 - 452
Summary: completed Crystal Tokyo was not what everyone thought it would be. Its fifty years later all the girls have changed. Find out why, its all in their diaries. Serenity, Ami, Rei, Minako, Makoto
1. Default Chapter

Prologue 

I hear them calling to me from inside the beautiful Crystal Palace; my palace.

"Serenity, Serenity."

I call to them and they obediently come to stand on the balcony with me.

Ami comes first, smiling gently but her eyes are guilty and brooding. Minako follows her chattering absently to Makoto who answers her half heartedly watching the sky. Minako hides the way she feels behind a façade of happiness while Makoto hides her pain by looking anywhere but at me, for I am the cause of her pain. 'She' follows them all, obviously reluctantly, I know she doesn't want to be anywhere near me. Her eyes are cold and hard, and her mouth is pursed in a straight line, and vaguely I wondered when was the last time I had seen her smile. Rei was the only one of my friends who knew it was impossible to hide her pain from me. 

"It is not safe to be on your own, why are you out here your majesty?" Rei asks me. Her voice is harsh and sharp, she cannot stand to call me Serenity or even meatball head, she treats me like a stranger. I can't blame her; she is acting the way I would have if I were in her situation. Ami shoots Rei a reprimanding gaze and Rei lowers her eyes immediately. She is no longer the strong, defiant girl I once knew and loved, this time had changed her, Crystal Tokyo had changed us all. 

"I was thinking of Tokyo, how it used to be," I tell them simply and they all stare at me, Minako stops talking and clamps a hand to her mouth as her eyes fill with tears, I continue as though I hadn't noticed, "all our friends, Taiki, Umino, Shinozaki, Kaidou, I miss them."

"Don't talk about it, please, I can't stand it when you talk about *_them_*," Minako cries out suddenly as the tears run down her face. She runs from the balcony and throwing me an apologetic look Ami follows Minako to console her. I feel terrible now and move to go after them but someone takes my hand. I hope it is Rei, I pray that it is her ready to forgive me but it is Makoto and she squeezes my hand reassuringly, though her hand is cold and stiff.

"Give her time, give us all time," she pleads her eyes looking away from mine. 

"I didn't want things to be like this, you know I would never hurt my friends," I tell Makoto desperately and suddenly she looks sadder and stares at me in a pitying sort of way.

"Not intentionally you wouldn't," she replies then excuses herself to be with Ami and Minako. Only Rei and I are left on the balcony now and neither of us says a word. I hear the rustling of a dress behind me.

"Are you leaving me too?" I ask blankly not turning around and I see Rei shake her head slowly out of the corner of my eyes.

"I will stay if you wish it, your majesty," Rei says and I turn on her angrily. They had no right to be angry with me! Not everything was my fault. I didn't ask for my destiny, I didn't have a choice. _But neither did they Serenity because you didn't give them one,_ a voice reminds me and I blink my eyes rapidly holding back my tears of pity. Rei would never want my pity.

"Cut the 'your majesty' stuff Rei and talk to me," I demand and Rei is silent as she looks deep into my eyes.

"I can't," she tells me simply and I take her hand. It's cold as ice.

"Why?" I ask and she pulls her hand away as though my touch has scorched her.

"Because I may say something I'll regret, just like before," she tells me darkly her pain evident once again and she sees I am feeling sorry for her and looks away from me.

"Very well, you may go," I tell her and she bows stiffly and leaves me alone not before saying coldly,

"Do not be too long your majesty."

And I was left alone.


	2. The Diary Room: Serenity's Diary

Serenity 

How did such a friendship go so wrong? I have asked myself the same question everyday for the past fifty years but I know the answer. It just hurts to remember it. I thought Crystal Tokyo would be a place of happiness and contentment but I was wrong. Our lives were not to be that way. Our lives were ruined by a destiny, my destiny, it all happened that day, that one terrible day when my friends first began to hate me.

"I can't believe it has only been a week since Crystal Tokyo has been created," I said to my husband, King Endymion, and he came over to me and kissed my nose. I was wearing a dress of the softest pearl silk, much like the dress I remember my mother on the moon used to wear only on the back of my dress there was a large bow that resembled wings.

"Neither, but I'm still stuck on the fact you're the Queen," he laughed and I hit his arm playfully pouting prettily while Endymion screwed his face up in pain holding his arm but I could see him smiling through his act. 

"You don't love me anymore," I declared stamping my foot and giving a groan of mock pity he took me into his arms gently.

"But I do Meatball Head, you are my Queen for all eternity," he told me huskily stroking my hair, the style still that of the 'meatballs' I had worn my whole young life.

"And you are my King forever," I told him smiling happily and he bent his head until his lips were barely touching mine.

"Never doubt that," he whispered and I sighed deeply longing for him to kiss me.

"Oh muffin," I managed to squeak and just as he placed his lips on mine…

"Sorry to interrupt you pair but Ami wants us in her laboratory a.s.a.p so if you guys could drag yourselves away from each other just for a little while…" Rei burst into the room interrupting our moment and I turned to scowl at her but she poked her tongue out at me and was gone before I could get angry with her.

"She ruined our moment," I whined and Endymion took my hand and squeezed it comfortingly.

"Don't worry we have our whole lives and many other moments to look forward too," and realising he was right, I smiled prettily and we made our way to Ami's laboratory.

Ami had been shut in the laboratory for the whole week. She had suggested conducting a few experiments on our blood to see whether Crystal Tokyo had changed us in anyway genetically and she had only come out of the laboratory to eat. She had even slept in there! Luckily she had Taiki in there working with her. They were married the day after Crystal Tokyo had been created; they had been waiting for Crystal Tokyo to be created before they married so they would be able to remember their wedding in the place of the future. Ami and Taiki had met and connected when Taiki and the other two Starlight's had come looking for their Princess Kakyuu and both were heartbroken when Taiki had to return to his home planet. For a year Ami shuffled through life burying herself in her schoolwork knowing Taiki would never be a part of her life until one day he returned to Earth. He came with a message from his Princess that Ami take care of Taiki and cherish him always. Of course Ami did and the two were engaged six months later, they were the first of my friends to want to get married. They opened their own doctor's surgery together but Ami had also majored in science and was a registered scientist as well as surgeon while Taiki became a paediatrician and general practitioner. That was until a week ago and Crystal Tokyo was created and the two had to shut down their surgery and live in the palace. Ami as the Princess of Mercury and Taiki as the Ambassador for his home planet.  

Endymion and I were the last to arrive in the laboratory and everyone looked at us as we entered, their eyes twinkling and I had a feeling Rei had been making fun of us.

"Well, well, well, their majesties have taken time out of their *busy* schedules to join us," Rei said jokingly while grinning at us innocently and the other girls laughed heartily as Endymion and I blushed and quickly took our seats. I looked at my friends and I was so proud how everyone had changed for the best. 

Makoto had married her best friend Shinozaki, the man who as a boy had protected Makoto and cared for her whenever she needed comfort whether she was feeling ill or had broken up with a boyfriend. Now he was bound to her as husband and was always there to love her and comfort her. In his company the brash, loud Makoto would become reserved and peaceful; they were such a sweet couple and their story of childhood love was enough to make me blubber like a baby. Together Makoto and Shinozaki had opened their own restaurant that was quite famous all over the world that was before Crystal Tokyo was created. Now only Shinozaki looked after the restaurant as Makoto had to become Princess Jupiter and a member of my court.  

Rei and her husband, Kaidou, also had a very strange story to tell of how they met each other and married. After many long years Rei had finally married Kaidou, a man Rei had loved since she was a young girl. Kaidou had worked for Rei's father and he shared the same views she did - that love and family were more important than work. He visited her at the temple all the time, she was sixteen and he was twenty-three and Rei thought it would always be this way for them. They were very good friends and talked about everything. But one day he came to her and told her he was getting married, Rei's own father had arranged a marriage between one of his political enemies daughter and Kaidou. That day Rei had cried and told him she thought that one day he would marry her, and that he was a liar because he once had told her he would never mix love with his work. They had their first kiss that day, Rei had kissed him what she thought to tragically be their first and last kiss then fled from him telling him to never come to the temple again. Disillusioned and very confused Kaidou had left the temple, broken off his engagement and left Japan to study abroad in Paris, France. Rei thought he had left her forever but two years later he returned right on her doorstep declaring that he loved her too. He had opened his own museum in Paris with his own works as the main pieces and had earned quite a fortune. Of course Rei had been angry for a while that he had been gone for two years without a word but she had forgiven him and they were engaged, Rei's father even came to the wedding but Rei refused to let him walk her down the aisle, she had saved that role for her grandfather who had been more of a father to her than her real father. Before Crystal Tokyo the two lovebirds had been flitting about the world, and both were more than a little sad to be tied down to one place without the freedom to pick up their bags and move on when they felt like it. Rei became Princess Mars and a member of my court while Kaidou began writing a novel, about our lives when we were Sailor Senshi.  

Lastly was Minako's story of romance and love. After High School Minako had gone to a different university to the one Makoto, Ami, and I were going to claiming she needed time on her own away from us since Galaxia had been defeated and there were no more enemies for us to battle. No one guessed she had followed a guy to the university. She shocked everyone when she returned three years later engaged to none other than the High School nerd Umino. Everyone had been so surprised at the new look Umino. He had changed his hairstyle and streaked his plain brown hair with golden blonde but these changes were outdone by the fact he had swapped his glasses for contacts that enhanced his chocolate brown eyes perfectly. He owned his own law firm and Minako worked for him as his personal secretary. They married a year after Rei and Kaidou and I had been so happy to attend a wedding every year since Makoto and Shinozaki had married. Now we were together and Minako had taken her place as the Princess of Venus and Umino ran his law firm without the help of his beautiful charming secretary. Even after these years of seeing those two together it still made me smile, things never turn out the way you expect them to.

I looked over at Makoto and Shinozaki who were standing together by the window. He had his arms around her waist and her fingers looked as though they had a mind of their own as they entwined his fingers. She looked so happy and content, as though nothing would ever bother her as long as Shinozaki was there to hold her. Their heads were touching but they weren't speaking and Makoto's emerald eyes stared soulfully into his sapphire blue eyes and even as I watched Shinozaki reached out to brush back Makoto's lush brown hair very much like his own. I then looked for Minako and Umino and they were both hunched over a desk looking at one of Umino's new cases, Minako's golden hair falling over her shoulder as she quickly read the case. The folder was open but it was clear that Minako and Umino were more interested in each other than the paper in front of them as their matching dark blue eyes locked and I saw Umino's hand reached over to claim Minako's and she smiled at him dreamily. She truly was a goddess of love. Lastly on the fold out couch sat Rei and Kaidou. She was snuggled into his broad chest her ebony hair cascading down her back and his arms encircled her shoulders while her hands reached up to run through Kaidou's golden blonde hair. Kaidou was caressing her face and Rei was staring up at him admiringly with her purple eyes and Kaidou's own brown eyes were looking down at her through his very smart business looking glasses as though she were his very reason for living. I always thought he looked very distinguished and I respected him, not only because he was at least ten years older than the rest of us but because he had the guts to take on our Lady of Fire. 

A door opened on the left and I had no time to ponder about my friend's lives as Ami stepped into the room. Her blue eyes glanced quickly at Makoto, Minako then Rei before coming to rest on me and she smiled thinly at me and ran a hand through her already rumpled blue hair. Taiki followed her in still shaking his head obviously still continuing an argument with her and his long auburn hair fell about his face. He was frowning as he folded his arms across his chest and stared at Ami reproachfully with his strange hazel eyes. Ami avoided looking at him, and at us and preferred to look at the wall behind everyone as she took a deep breathe before she spoke.

"I have some bad news," she began and I felt Endymion take my hand worriedly and I squeezed his back. I saw the others share glances of confusion with each other. Obviously Ami had not told anyone other than Taiki her results from the experiment.

"During the purification of Tokyo, the Silver Crystal must have made us, the senshi, and Endymion stop aging; we will now look twenty for the rest of our lives, we cannot get sick and we can only die if we expel all our energy, we will probably live for thousands of years," Ami revealed a dark sense of foreboding in her voice. I frowned in confusion, I didn't see anything wrong with such news, in fact I thought it was wonderful, it was like all of us had eternal life. The others however were silent. 

"That's not bad," I said happily wondering why the others weren't smiling with me, not even my beloved Endymion.

"Oh Usagi," Ami breathed sadly shaking her head, "We do not age, but the ones we love, everyone from Tokyo will age around us and eventually die."

The news hit me like a kick in the stomach and I think it was then that the full realisation of what Ami was trying to say sunk in with the others. No one said anything for the longest time and surprisingly it was Makoto who broke the silence.

"This isn't fair!" she yelled frustrated trying to hold back her tears pulling herself out of Shinozaki's arms and beginning to pace the room angrily smashing her fist into her hand as though her hand were somehow to blame for such terrible news, "it's not fair!"

Shinozaki threw Ami a worried glance as he walked to his wife and enveloped her in his strong embrace. Makoto struggled for a few moments before giving up and her heart wrenching sobs were the only sound in the room. I stood there watching Makoto's shoulders rise and fall violently unable to move or say anything. I didn't realise Rei had stood and was glaring at me hatefully. I turned as she started to speak.

"You and your stupid destiny," she said forcefully, not screaming but with venom in her voice. She had never spoken to me this way before and my knees went weak.

"Rei," I whispered but Rei shook her head and her eyes narrowed at me hatefully.

"I could have had a normal life, but no, you had to come along and turn me into a senshi, I wish you hadn't, I wish we had never met!" Rei screamed and everyone was silent as they stared at her, even Makoto's sobs stopped. Rei's eyes widened when she realised what she had said and how much she knew it would hurt me. She didn't apologise though she just stared at me and that's when I started to cry, hard, and Endymion wrapped me in his embrace kissing the top of my head reassuringly before turning on Rei for making me cry. This reminded me of one of our fights we used to have as young girls but this one was different, this fight was real.

"You can't blame her Rei, she didn't plan for things to turn out this way," I heard Endymion tell Rei angrily and I twisted my head to look at her and hear her reply but Rei looked unrepentant and I felt my heart clench in my chest.

"She didn't plan for anything and look, look what's happened," Rei declared throwing her arms out wide gesturing wildly around the room. I couldn't really blame Rei for reacting the way she was but it hurt, everything she was saying cut me, much deeper than any knife ever could. Then I understood everything, she wanted me to feel the pain she was feeling and I felt sorry for her. I wiped away my tears and waited to see what else Rei would say to me in the state she was in, telling myself she didn't mean it, hoping that she didn't mean it. There was more silence. I hated that silence. Rei was taking deep breathes trying to control her fiery temper or trying not to cry I couldn't tell, her face was a mask of fury. Kaidou, sensing his wife was near breaking point stood up and pulled her head to his shoulder.

"Mignonne, you are distraught, calm yourself," Kaidou whispered using his French words of affection for Rei. He was always calling Rei, mignonne, Cherie or ma petite, which I thought was the most beautiful display of affection between two people.

"I did not mean it, I didn't," I heard her mumbled to him as her fury and strength left her and Kaidou swept Rei up into his arms like she was a baby and she nuzzled her face into his broad chest. Giving a nod to Endymion and myself he left the room still whispering comforting words to Rei.

"She knows Cherie, Serenity loves you," was the last I heard him tell her as they left. Makoto pulled Shinozaki after Rei and Kaidou not even looking at me and throwing me an apologetic look Shinozaki followed his wife. And then there were six.

"How could she say such a thing?" I asked Endymion fearful that I was losing my friends through no fault of my own. I had done nothing and the girls I thought of as my sisters had turned on me. 

"She is right to be angry at you, if it weren't for you we would have lead normal lives, I wish I knew what normal was, even if it were just for one day," Minako said softly but not unkindly, just as though she was stating a fact and I turned around seeing the wistful look in her eyes that were twinkling with tears. Her face was white, as though all the blood had run from her face and she was clutching so hard onto Umino's hand it was beginning to turn red and her knuckles were turning white.

"Do you wish we hadn't met too Minako?" I ask her in a defeated voice and Minako stared at me for the longest time without saying a word.

"Not yet," she said finally and then just turned and left the room. Umino unsure of what to do stood there holding his folder in his arms and Endymion gave him a nod and he too left the room.

I turned to Ami my heart heavy.

"Is there no way we can change this, the silver crystal…" like a drowning person I flailed about for a life raft but there was none.

"Will not have enough power to give our loved ones the same eternal life for another 1000 years, the Silver Crystal needs time to regain all the power it has lost," Ami finished for me slowly and I realised that even her dear Taiki would die with the others and when I hung my head in defeat I heard her small voice, "I am sorry Usagi." 

"Aren't we all?" I asked her sarcastically and then I left the laboratory vowing never to step into that room ever again. In that room my darkest fears had been born, that my friends would resent me because of who I was destined to be. 

And so their loves died around them and for once there was nothing any of them could do to stop it. I had to watch as my friends shunned the world that they used to love and embrace the darkness of loneliness. How could I help but feel responsible? I tried so hard to be the one to help them handle their pain but they all rejected me none wanting to accept my hand. There was nothing I could do but watch and wait and pray for the day when they would forgive me for something that wasn't my fault. They were not the only ones to suffer losses. My whole family had aged and withered before my eyes, my mom, my dad, and even little Sammy. He had married and produced children of his own of course but his sweet spirit was no longer here, though he lived on in my heart and in the hearts of his children and their grand children. My mom and dad died within days of each other my father not willing to live without my mother by his side. I was at my mother's side when she died that day, four years after Crystal Tokyo had been created. 

I had been crying over her when she fluttered her blue eyes open and when she focused on me she smiled weakly. Her light purple hair lay about her face and I thought she looked as lovely as an angel even though she had aged considerably over the years.

"Usako my precious baby," she said endearingly, her voice hushed and I grasped for her hand and held it tightly in my own.

"Momma," I choked out, I didn't know what else to say. She reached up slowly to wipe my cheek free from tears but it wasn't long before fresh tears fell to join the others.

"Do not cry for me Usagi, I am going to a happier place," my mother pleaded with me and sniffed back my tears and gave a forced smile.

"I know, I just don't know how I am going to live without you," I told her squeezing her hand to emphasize how much she meant to me but I saw in her eyes she already knew.

"You will go on, and you will live your life, and I will be so proud that you are my daughter," my mother predicted in a tone that left no space for argument and I was silent for a few moments.

"I will miss you," I said finally not wanting to degrade the moment by whining and my mother shook her head from side to side.

"Sweetheart you have Mamoru and you also have your friends, if you need them they will be there, they care for you Usagi," my mother told me and it was my turn to shake my head.

"Not anymore," I said sadly and that was when I felt my mother's hand tighten hard around mine.

"Yes they do, inside their hearts they always will, promise me you won't give up on them, they are too young to become somebody's lost cause," she made me promise her fingers gripping into my hand that she clutched tightly.

"I promise," I said and her grip relaxed and she smiled happily.

"And promise me you will kiss my granddaughter for me everyday," she said and that was one promise I was happy to make.

"I promise, everyday to do so," I told her and she nodded her head and closed her eyes.

"I die happy Usako, do not be sad," she said and some time during the night she breathed her last breath, leaving me and father so quietly.

How like my mother, to care for everyone else but herself at the time of her death. Two days later my father joined her and I laid them both to rest in the old cemetery of Tokyo thinking it a more appropriate burial ground for them both. I did not tell the others of my loss because compared to theirs mine seemed comparatively small but on the day of my parents funeral with only Endymion and my baby daughter in my arms to comfort me I cried nearly all the tears I had to cry. My sweet brother Sammy died only ten years ago, the scouts never knew either. I strove to keep my personal losses from them, unwilling to bother them with my burdens when theirs were so heavy even though Endymion kept telling me they would have loved to comfort me. I could not bring myself to tell them. I will remember my brother's last words to me before he died.

"I love you sis," he had said smiling cheekily reminding me of the boy I had once known, the smile being out of place on such an old wrinkled face. He had never said that to me before and I couldn't stop from bursting into tears even as he laughed at me and called me a crybaby. Sammy always did love to tease me.

He too was buried in the old Tokyo Cemetery and after his burial life went on for me. The other girls think I know nothing that I am still the silly child I used to be but I know what has been going on, I know everything. I know all about my Endymion and Setsuna and although it hurts me badly inside I know that I have driven him away, into the arms of another woman. Maybe because I feel guilty having him when my senshi have no one. I know Endymion loves me. I see it in his eyes and in Setsuna's the way she studies me when we are in the same room wondering why Endymion loves me so much when I am so cold to him. I know he still loves me when he creeps into our bedroom late at night after having been with Setsuna by the way he stares down at me while I pretend to sleep, with a gaze of longing and of pure love. I love him so much but the guilt is driving me insane. I know he will stand by me forever and he will always be my heroic prince. One day I will return to him, one day, but for now I cannot stand to hurt my senshi by being with him. At least I have my darling Small Lady. She is five years of age now and I think in two or so more years I will have to send her to the past, a happier time than now for sure. I will miss her. 

I miss my friends. So many times I try to befriend them but I am always knocked back. But I will not give up, I will not forget the promise that I made my mother, I cannot forget it. All of a sudden I had become the big bad Queen to my friends. I had done nothing to my friends, they were my friends, and I would never do anything intentional to hurt them and yet I was the cause of their pain. My four guardians. Mercury. Mars. Jupiter. Venus. I love them all but I fear I love them too much. I think it was because I feared them leaving me on my own that the Silver Crystal gave them semi eternal life it gave Endymion and myself. During the purification I was thinking so hard of Endymion and my friends and how I wouldn't be able to live without all of them that the Silver Crystal must have decided that they were most important to me and needed the semi eternal life too. And so it is my fault, in a sense, because of my selfishness in loving my friends so much that I unintentionally destroyed their lives. Would they ever truly forgive me? Could I ever forgive myself? 


	3. The Diary Room: Mars' Diary

Mars 

She has it so perfect. The Princess of the Moon Kingdom, the Queen of Crystal Tokyo, the spoiled brat who always gets what she wants. Do I sound bitter? That's because I am. I know what people say about me, when they think I can't hear what they are saying; according to the servants in the palace I am a jealous, hateful, spiteful, bitter bitch to their adored Queen, the perfect Serenity. I wasn't always the way I am, everything I have done, everything I am is because of her. I never used to be so sour, I used to be in love with a handsome man named Kaidou, he was my husband, my soul mate I loved him so much, he was my reason for living. But he's gone, dead; he has been for half a century now. My goodness it can't have been that long already but as I check the date I realise it is so. It has been fifty years since I laid Kaidou to rest but its still fresh in my mind the day of his funeral. I remember the droning voice of the priest telling me the life of a man that I knew so well because he spent his life with me. The feel of rain falling onto my head and my tears mixing with the rain, my sobs being muffled by the thunder overhead. Serenity came to me that day after my darling Kaidou was buried, offering sympathies, but I couldn't stand to be with her. All I could think was that I should have been there beside Kaidou; I should have been with him, an old woman ready to go to her grave but Serenity had stolen my normal life from me. I had lived my life; I did not want it extended, not without the man I loved. I didn't want to talk to any of them, the others, the lucky ones who still had their husbands standing or in wheelchairs beside them. Our loves were getting old and grey and as much as we wished and prayed there was nothing we could do to save them. I had never felt so helpless in all my life. I had known it wouldn't be long before I would be attending the funeral of one of the others. We had all taken the deaths of our husbands differently. I had locked myself in my room and cried my heart out, until I had no more tears to cry and then I yelled and screamed abuse at the world for letting my Kaidou die. I had then emerged from my room days later with a wall of hostility around me. We all try and keep in touch with our lost husbands in a special way. I read Kaidou's novel that he had written about us, the Sailor Senshi, over and over again. Reading it makes me feel like he is beside me again reading it to me the way he used to. Sometimes I can hear his deep voice resonating through my head. Taiki had been the second one of our husbands to leave us having been the second oldest after my sweet Kaidou. He had gone peacefully and silently leaving a bereaved Ami behind him. Ami had cried and cried and for days her eyes had been red rimmed. There was nothing I could do, nothing I could say the take the pain away from her, after all my pain was still fresh in my mind. Ami had finally wiped her tears away for good and she was the only one of us on comfortable speaking terms with Serenity, she still defended Serenity whenever Minako, Makoto and I spoke bad words about her. At first I considered the way she had begun talking again with Serenity as a betrayal but I soon learned that Ami was grasping onto Serenity as some sort of life line, someone to give her hope and friendship and love without a darkness in there lives like mine. Sometimes, and indeed even now on a few occasions I would find Ami just sitting in a chair smiling softly staring into the distance and I knew she was dreaming of Taiki, that was her way of keeping in touch with him. She was at peace with herself but she couldn't stand seeing Endymion and Serenity together, neither could the rest of us and I think they were aware of that, both walked on eggshells around us, careful of what they said or did with each other. I think we affected their love for each other because we forced them to cool off, everyone knows things are not so good now with Serenity and Endymion in any case and I know a secret that she doesn't. Endymion is having an affair with Setsuna. Serenity doesn't know, I have kept it from her as have the others and in a way we still know our duty is to protect our Queen. Umino, Minako's Umino was the third to depart for the next world. Minako had hidden her grief behind smiles of happiness pretending everything was okay, pretending that life without Umino was worth living, but it wasn't. I still hear her, thirty-five years later, crying in her room that is beside mine for her gone but not forgotten Umino. I never let her know that I can hear her but often she will meet my gaze across a room and in her eyes I can see all that she suffers, in that we are all linked, we all are suffering. Sometimes I hear Minako having a conversation with herself in her room pretending that Umino is there with her talking with her about his latest case. It isn't madness what she is doing; it is her way of keeping in touch with Umino. Shinozaki had been the last to go, and Makoto had taken his passing quite well, better than I had, considering she had at least gotten to say goodbye to him. She had shut herself away for days, and when she finally emerged she was listless and dull, the way I knew I had been since Kaidou's death, she had lost her will to live as had I, as had Ami and Minako. She didn't rant or rave as I had but I knew she kept her blame for Serenity silent as we all did. Makoto kept in touch with Shinozaki through the stars. I asked her once about them and she had smiled and told me, "I see his eyes in the stars." My room is practically a shrine to Kaidou and what we shared together full of photographs, memorabilia and silly things that meant so much to us. Ironically Kaidou had accepted his death and my continued survival before I had, as had the other girls husbands. Before they died, they even held 'Grumpy Old Men' clubs where they joked about their coming deaths with each other. None of us girls could ever bring ourselves to go to these meetings even though we knew they only held them to try and help us get used to the idea we would have to go on without them. They all talked so callously of their deaths that they frightened us with a harsh reality we did not want to face. Kaidou and I shared so many good times together. That day when he told me that he was getting married to another girl was the only sad moment we ever had with each other apart from Crystal Tokyo. I loved him even back then when I was only sixteen and he was twenty-three. 

He had came to me that day, bearing gifts of chocolates, and I was so excited that he had brought me gifts that I didn't notice he had to tell me something. I talked on and on about school and hugged him for the chocolates and then he took my hand and forced me to stop talking and face him. He was so handsome that day dressed in his charcoal suit, blonde hair slicked back and his glasses in his breast pocket.

"Rei-chan I have news," he told me slowly as though he were unsure how to bring his topic into our conversation.

"What news?" I asked him tilting my head to the side and Kaidou shoved his hands in his pockets and looked away from me.

"I am getting married," he said as the wind blew his hair and it was like I had been slapped across the face. I stared at him in disbelief hoping he was joking and I started to smile but when I saw he wasn't smiling I realised he meant it and I felt a heavy weight in my chest. My heart is broken, I thought immediately pressing a hand absently to my chest.

"I see," I choked out looking at the ground. My Kaidou was getting married to another girl; it was so unreal I didn't want to believe it.

"She is the daughter of a political opponent of your father, he arranged for us to meet and the courting," he recited and I felt my hatred for my father swell inside my being. It was his fault that Kaidou could never be mine now, why did he have to do this to me?

"Did he arrange the ring and the proposal as well?" I asked sarcastically hating Kaidou and loving him all at the same time.

"No I did, she is a very nice girl," he said and I felt it was more to convince him than me.

"Well good for you then, go and marry her," I told him flatly looking at the ground and Kaidou frowned taking my chin in his hands guiding me to look at his concerned face. 

"Why are you angry at me?" he asked me softly and I pulled my face from his grasp and looked to the floor again.

"I'm not," I lied quickly and I heard Kaidou sigh deeply.

"Please Rei, I thought we could always talk to each other, why are you angry?" he asked me again and that was when I couldn't hold back my love for him anymore.

"Why? Because I wanted to be your wife one day, I wanted to be the one wearing your ring, I wanted to be the one you kiss goodnight and I wanted you to love me," I blurted out before thinking and Kaidou took a step away from me shock written all over his handsome face.

"Rei…" he said his eyes wide but I didn't let him say anymore, I had to tell him all I had to say before he could speak or else I would loose my nerve.

"You're a big liar just like my father but at least I expected it from him, but not from you, I thought you were better than that, you told me, you would never mix work with love, but you did it all because my father told you too," I accused him mercilessly and Kaidou actually looked angry with me.

"Now Rei…" he said his voice low and growling but I couldn't let him speak, not now.

"If he told you to jump off a bridge you'd do it, you're nothing but his little gopher, go for this Kaidou, go for that Kaidou, marry this girl Kaidou and fix all my problems like a good gopher," I condemned Kaidou cruelly ignoring the pained look on Kaidou's face. I hit a nerve with him and we both knew it.

"Please Rei, why are you speaking to me this way?" he asked me his voice cracking, and his face was a mask of hurt and betrayal but I hardened my heart to him. I could not think of him anymore, I had no right and I promised myself I would not think of him again once he left the temple.

"Because I love you," I told him simply then surprising even myself I reached up to his face and with my free hand I grabbed his hand and pulled his lips to mine. He was too surprised to resist and I felt his lips respond to mine then I pushed him away and stared at him. Remembering his face, his eyes and his mouth then I turned my back to him and pointed to the exit of the temple.

 "Please leave, and don't come again."

"But Rei I..." Kaidou touched my shoulder but I shrugged off his hand.

"Just go," I demanded and there was silence then the sound of footsteps walking away from the temple and I felt my heart go with him.

"I will never love another," I promised myself, I never wanted my heart to be broken again. I picked up his box of expensive chocolates and opened the lid of the bin.

"Goodbye Kaidou," I said to the chocolates and I threw them away.

How foolish I had been back then to risk such a man as Kaidou like that without a second thought. The next day my father graced me with his presence but I realised early on in the visit it wasn't me he wanted to see.

"Where is Kaidou?" he demanded after I greeted him stopping my chores to run down to him and I stopped in my tracks and raised an eyebrow at him.

"How should I know?" I asked sarcastically but my father was too worried about Kaidou, the son he never had, to notice a daughter that he wished he never had. To him I was just another expense in his pocketbook.

"He came here yesterday, then he broke up with his fiancée and then…disappeared," my father told me fluttering his hands like a magician and I looked at him sharply.

"Disappeared?" I repeated in disbelief

"He up and left, no one can find head or tail of him, why would he leave?" my father asked me taking my arm roughly.  
"I don't know," I replied wrenching my arm from his grasp and rubbing my arm. My father sighed and began to head back to his car his work obviously done not bothering about my health, or school or anything about me. The unimportant child that would never be considered anything but a nuisance in her own father's eyes, how could I blame him for hating me? My birth killed my mother, and when my mother died so had my father's ability to love, especially me, the one who looked so much like my mother.

"If you see him…" he turned to say and I shook my head firmly.

"I won't," I told him remembering what I had told Kaidou and my father for once took on the look of a caring parent and came over to me.

"Look pet, I know you think you were in love with him, but its just a school girl crush, besides its not healthy for you to spend so much time with someone so much older than you, you're just a child to him," my father told me and I rolled my eyes to the sky. It was a pretty good effort at being fatherly but still pathetic. 

"Ten years isn't much older," I pointed out and my father tapped me under the chin.

"Don't argue pet, remember if you see him tell him to call me," he reminded me, his paternal ways finished for the day he strode to his car. 

"Fine," I said watching him leave, not even a kiss or a hug to me, his only daughter.

"See you later pet," he called out as he drove off and I stood staring after him before going back to my chores as though nothing had happened.

It was another two years before I saw Kaidou or my father again.

It was a year after Yuuichiro had left the temple so he could marry Naru. I smile now when I remember how he thought he was in love with me and I thought I was in love with him. I should have known my heart could only be true to one, my darling Kaidou. We agreed before he left that we were just biding time with each other until our true loves came along. I remember him leaving, my Yuuichiro, a true friend.

"Rei, I want to thank you so much for believing in me," he told me taking my hand and kissing it so I blushed.

"Yuuichiro thank you for being you," I replied kissing his hand.

We just stared at each other for the longest time until Naru called Yuuichiro, her new husband, and told him to hurry up or they would miss their flight. For their honeymoon they were going to Italy and afterwards they had both decided to open a jewellery store together. I was so happy for them both. Yuuichiro had dropped my hand and leant forward to kiss me on the cheek.

"Perhaps we will have a second chance, in another time, another place when we are both free to love each other for real," he whispered in my ear and I smiled as he pulled away from me and after we shared another long glance he left with his wife. 

I spent a year of loneliness without my best friend, Yuuichiro by my side. Things at the temple had settled down into the normal swing of things and I had routine and normality. Then Kaidou came along and shook things up.

I remember the day he returned to me so clearly. I had woken up late that morning and heard the sound of movement at my door and curiously wearing only my pyjamas I walked to the door and swung it open. There on my doorstep on one knee was Kaidou. He looked the same as I remembered him only more refined and he was staring up at me wearing a sweater and jeans and a charming smile. I thought he was a hallucination at first remembering I had dreamt about him the night before and I guess I must have stared at him strangely because he laughed melodically.

"I really am here Rei," he told me softly and his manly voice echoed through my ears, it was a voice I hadn't ever expected to hear. I still didn't say a word and after a pause Kaidou spoke again.

"Rei, what you said to me the last time we saw each other really changed my life around, I left Japan and went to France do take up a career as an artist, something I have always wanted to do, and now I have fulfilled that dream I have only one more dream to fulfil and it is this, Rei will you be my wife?"

In all my years of living, I had never expected it would be Kaidou who would be saying those very words to me. Still I just stared at him and he felt into his pocket and produced a rose ring box and held it out to me flipping the lid open. I gazed down at the beautiful ruby and diamond ring and felt an unexplainable urge to throw the ring in his face. I looked him straight in the eyes then turned around, stepped back into my room and shut the door calmly in his amazed face.

An hour later I opened the door again and Kaidou was still there on one knee still holding out the ring. He looked up at me and smiled charmingly with pleading in his eyes.

"Please say yes Rei, I won't move from here until you do," he swore to me and I let myself smile weakly.

"How long are you planning to wait?" I asked him innocently wicked look shining in my eyes that Kaidou saw and grinned taking up the unspoken challenge.

"As long as it takes," he promised and I shrugged and shut the door again.

I didn't open the door again that day although I did look out the window many times and there was Kaidou still outside my door true to his promise, waiting. My grandfather fed him lunch, giving him strange looks as he did so, obviously curious to know whom this man was and what he was doing outside my door. I watched movies, read a few books but mostly I meditated asking the fire whether or not to accept Kaidou. The fire didn't give me any answer and I knew it was my choice. It was ten thirty at night when I opened the door and there was Kaidou sleeping peacefully. He had a coat as a blanket and his bag as a pillow, he looked so sweet just sleeping on my doorstep. I knelt down beside him and brushed back a lock of golden hair from his forehead. Kaidou murmured my name but didn't wake and I bent my head and touched my lips to his. Kaidou woke with a jolt and as I pulled away he sat up and took my shoulders in his hands.

"Rei, do you love me still?" he asked me timidly and I reached out hesitantly to caress his cheek. 

"You know I do," I replied my heart full of hope and love for this man.

"Then marry me," Kaidou asked me his voice husky with emotion and I fell into his waiting arms, running my hands through his hair.

"Yes Kaidou, I will, we were meant to be together," I told him and he nodded in agreement nuzzling his head into my hair.

"I love you Rei," he mumbled and I gripped onto his hands tightly.

"Never leave me again for so long," I said squeezing his hands and Kaidou looked my deep in the eyes.

"I will never be far from you," he swore as he bent his head to kiss my lips lingeringly.

That was perhaps one of the happiest days of my life. The absolute happiest day of my life had been our wedding. I remember every little detail. The way Kaidou had turned to watch me with a smile as the door to the church had opened. The way his eyes lit up at the sight of me in my wedding dress. I remember how handsome Kaidou was in his black tuxedo and slicked back golden hair. I remember hearing Usagi's giggle of nervousness behind me as we began the walk up the aisle and the sound of the three other girls as they urged her to be quiet. I remember turning to look at my grandpa who was escorting me down the aisle and seeing his wrinkled face smiling happily pride in his eyes. I remember he patted my hand and I felt all the love he held for me. I had chosen Usagi as my maid of honour, she was my best friend after all and the other three girls were my bridesmaids. Kaidou had asked Mamoru to be his best man and Mamoru had accepted. Taiki, Umino and Shinozaki had offered to be the groomsmen and Kaidou and I had happily accepted. My father had suddenly become paternal offering to pay for the wedding and so on but I refused to let him walk me down the aisle, my grandpa was the only father I had ever known. The ceremony went off without a hitch and before I knew it the priest was announcing us as the newly married couple. A series of cheers and congratulations surrounded us as well as grains of rice as we ran down the steps of the temple and into the limousine that awaited us.

"Well ma petite, this is it, the end of your life as Rei Hino," Kaidou said as we drove away waving to our friends whom we would see at the reception and I turned to him shaking my head and smiling gently. 

"Oh no my love, it is just the beginning," I corrected him and he didn't disagree, he just pulled me into his arms and kissed me lingeringly. 

When Crystal Tokyo was created I returned immediately to the newly built Crystal Palace and was greeted by Serenity at the door. I had hugged her tightly, Endymion too, and the other girls and their husbands as well. It had been so long since I had seen them all that I half feared they were an apparition and I had to convince myself they were real. Finally we were reunited again, the Sailor Scouts all together once more, we thought that our lives were perfect and that nothing could ever happen to make us unhappy ever again - how wrong we were. The night before we found out the information that destroyed our lives we had all had a rare dinner together as one huge family. There had been much talking and laughter, plans of many things that we would all do together but those things never came to pass for after the next day we never met again as a 'family'. The end of the night after kissing the other girls and their husbands goodnight I walked up to Serenity and hugged her tightly feeling something was wrong and that it would be a long time before I hugged her ever again. She seemed to sense this and hugged me back tighter.

"Why so sad Rei?" she asked me, her caring blue eyes upon my face and I stared into her eyes for what I didn't know would be the last time I would do so without feeling any kind of hostility towards her.

"I just feel like this is the last time we will ever be together like this," I replied unsurely and Serenity had frowned in confusion.

"What do you mean, we will always be best friends forever?" she had stated and I shook my head to shake the thoughts from my mind. If only we had known how real those words were.

"I know, I'm just talking nonsense, goodnight meatball head," I said smiling and giving her one last hug I turned and took my husbands arm and let him lead us to our room.

"Goodnight Rei," I heard Serenity whisper to me as we left the room.

When I had discovered the news that Kaidou would die but I would live on for years after I wasn't sure that I could handle living without Kaidou, but I have walked a difficult path and realised that I could live without him. If you could call my presence here on Earth - living. From that day on I never saw Serenity the same way and I believe she knows this because she can never hold my accusing gaze. Sometimes I pity her because she has lost the friendship that she used to share with all of us, a friendship that we all knew meant so much to her but most of the time I am jealous of Serenity because she has Endymion, even if he is a liar and a cheat, I know that he still loves her in his special way. To him she will always be his precious Princess Usagi. Anything he has become is the fault of us, the senshi, we pushed them apart those two, but Serenity still believes in her love for him, and everything aside she still has him to turn to while the senshi and I have nothing. I really can't blame her for everything though, I should have realised that by now. I should have forgiven her long ago but I need someone to blame, to take the hurt away from me because if I don't I think I may die of a broken heart. Wait I can't die, I can't even kill myself, don't think I haven't tried because I have, so many many times. Ami discovered that we could only die if we loose all our energy and the only way to do that is in battle. It's funny I have died accidentally so many times fighting our enemies and yet when I truly want to die I can't. I almost long for an enemy to come, a strong enemy to give me release from my living death but so far, for the past five decades none have dared try and attack Crystal Tokyo and so I am still here, pining for the man I lost and for the girl I used to be. Most of all I pine for Serenity and my heart aches to know that she is so close to me yet so far. I long for her friendship but I fear I have severed the ties between us too far and she will never have me back. I would not take me back, how could I ask her to? It all has become so clear that there is no one to blame for our destiny except destiny itself and that is where my hate lies. Forgive me Serenity I've been a fool for so long, but no longer.


	4. The Diary Room: Mercury's Diary

Mercury 

I am watching Rei in the corner of the library writing furiously in the leather red diary I had given her. She seems to have so much to write and as I glance over at Serenity who is seated on the other side of the room I see her writing slowly and painstakingly in her pale pink diary her eyes filled with tears. Beside me I see Minako tapping her pen thoughtfully against her cheek as she thought of what else to write but I can see she has already written pages in her orange diary. Makoto I can hear behind me speaking aloud what she has written trying to make sense of it all so I imagine that her forest green diary is also full of her feelings. These diaries had been my idea in the first place yet I stare down at my own diary and see a blank page. How to begin? The reason I had suggested all of us write how we feel in the diaries is because I felt that we were all slipping away from each other and I couldn't let that happen. We were divided from each other now but this wasn't how we used to be, we used to be the best of friends, but that was so very long ago. I don't know what the others are writing about but I would hazard a guess that they are talking about the ones they have lost. Rei and her Kaidou, Minako and her Umino, Makoto and Shinozaki and Serenity…the only thing Serenity has lost are us. And what about my loss? My darling Taiki. The man who showed me that there was more to life than grades and friends, that there was also love to be found and I found it in him. The day he returned from his planet and appeared at my doorstep was when I first discovered that love could overcome all obstacles; it was only after Crystal Tokyo that I realised that love couldn't overcome one thing, death. 

I had opened the door sleepily the day he returned and was shocked to be staring into the eyes of the one person I had not expected to see ever again.

"Taiki," I breathed and he had smiled his lopsided grin that made my heart jump and I felt a familiar thud in my chest the way I always did when I saw him.

"The one and only," he replied giving a bow and I couldn't help but laugh, more out of nervousness that humour.

"Why are you here?" I asked in amazement and Taiki looked wounded.

"You don't seem very happy to see me," he said folding his arms across his chest looking hurt and I couldn't quite hold back my happiness at having ham back on Earth again.

"Oh I am! I…" I blushed furiously as he smiled again and I struggled to remain cool, calm and collected as I added, "It is just such a shock to see you."

"I returned to see you, I also have a message from my princess for you," he said winking and I wondered what could the Princess possibly have to tell me.

"And it is?" I asked and Taiki simply handed me a letter that was sealed with a wax symbol indicating the Princess had written it indeed.

I curiously slid my finger and broke the seal then opened the letter to read.

_Lady Ami, _

_Ever since we have returned to our home planet Taiki has done nothing but pine over you and so I have returned him to you, please care for him, I know you will and if sometime in the future you two decide to marry do not forget to invite us to the wedding,_

_Yours truly,_

_Princess Kakyuu and the now Two Starlight's_

"What does it say?" a voice startled me and I realised Taiki had still been waiting and just watching my face as I read the letter.

"Umm…just hello and so on," I tried to cover my embarrassment and he leaned against the doorjamb obviously not yet ready to go.

"Oh, well I had three reasons for coming to see you today, now that one of them has been delivered I have only two more things to do," he told me and I raised an eyebrow instantly curiously, not knowing what else he would want.

"And those are?" I asked him tilting my head to one side and Taiki grinned down at me mischievously.

"This," he said simply bending his head and pressing his lips to mine quickly then he pulled away blushing as I knew I was and he added, "And an invitation to dinner."

"I accept," I replied breathless and Taiki looked like he was going to go jump over the moon, his eyes were wide and excited.

"I'll pick you at seven then," he arranged the time and I could barely say a word I was so shocked.

"Ok," I managed to squeak and he turned and started walking away then he turned around as though he had an afterthought.

"I'll will be counting the minutes till I see you again, farewell," he spouted romantically and then clambered down the stares leaving me to stare after him.

At first I didn't know what to expect. All I knew was the man I adored was taking me to dinner. Immediately I had rung up Usagi and Rei and both were so excited that they had both volunteered to come over and dress me up for the date even though I tried to dissuade them. They arrived two hours before bringing dresses of theirs and make up too and excitedly chattering they bundled me into the bathroom and I was told to sit down while they gave me manicures, pedicures and a full hair styling. After going through my wardrobe and their own they were trying to decide which one of two dresses that I should wear. One belonged to me and it was a simple plain blue dress with a sweetheart neckline and a full skirt down to the floor. The other belonged to Rei and it was black with a halter neckline and a long skirt to that reached my calves. After trying one then the other and then trying them both on again they both turned to me and asked me which one I liked better. As I stared at myself in the mirror I thought that Taiki had asked Ami and not some gorgeous young woman, and although I looked lovely and grown up in the black dress I wanted to go as Ami and so I chose the blue dress. Usagi and Rei were happy with my choice and after finding me the perfect shoes I was standing in front of them getting a last minute look over when the doorbell rang. Usagi and Rei exchanged glances then hurried into the kitchen leaving me on my own. 

I pulled at my dress and primped my hair once before going to the door and opening it. Taiki's face was priceless he looked as though he had come face to face with an angel and later after we were married he did confess to me that's what he thought I was that day. Of course I was also amazed how good Taiki looked. He was very formally dressed in a pair of neat black slacks and a white button up shirt; in his hands he held a single daisy.

"You look…beautiful," he told me after a few moments handing me the daisy, which I took blushing deeply.

"You don't look so bad yourself," I commented back then I heard a giggle coming from the kitchen followed by a harsh whisper that sounded like,

"Keep it quiet meatball head, they'll hear us."

My eyes widened in embarrassment but Taiki looked like he hadn't noticed so I entwined the daisy in my hair and was about to shut the door when Taiki popped his head inside the door and said,

"Bye Usagi, bye Rei," and I nearly died when I heard a chorus of,

"Bye Taiki!"

I was about to apologise but Taiki was laughing and so I laughed with him and let him lead me to his car wondering what other surprises would be upon me tonight.

Thankfully dinner went well as we talked and danced and ate and danced some more. During the last dance of the night was when it happened. I remember everything so clearly. Taiki was looking deeply into my eyes and I was looking into his and his strong arms were around me holding me close to him. 

"Ami, I came back to Earth because of you, because I couldn't stand to be apart from you," he confessed and I was silent not wanting to ruin what he had to say and Taiki brought his head closer to mine.

"You couldn't?" I asked finally and after what seemed like an eternity of looking into each other's eyes Taiki shook his head slowly.

"Nope, and so, my dearest Ami, I am going to ask you something that has brought me light years from my home, will you be my girlfriend?" he asked simply and I was stunned and I was sure my mouth had dropped open. I had never been anyone's real girlfriend and Taiki would be my first real boyfriend and I realised that I would want my first boyfriend to be no one else.

"Oh yes," I replied happily smiling up into Taiki's now elated face and for the second time that day Taiki bent his head and kissed me. It wasn't like the first kiss; this kiss was slow and soft, deep and meaningful and so sweet. When we parted and I looked up into his eyes I knew then that this was the man I would love forever. 

And I think I will love him forever because forever is what I have. My life was so good back then, I was dating a wonderful man and we were both studying to become doctors with a dream of opening a doctor's surgery together. We had already planned out our future together; we knew what we wanted and how we hoped our lives would be. Six months later Taiki took me to that same restaurant and asked me something that changed my life forever. Taiki had picked me up from my house and placed a blindfold over my eyes.

"Do you trust me?" I heard him whisper in my ear and I giggled lightly.

"You know I do," I replied meaning what I said. There was no one I trusted more in the word aside from my friends. 

We drove in the car to the restaurant though at the time I had no idea where we were. He had raced around to open my door and help me out then with one arm around my waist and the other arm holding my hand he led me inside and sat me down at a table I later realised was exactly the same table we sat at when we had our first date. 

"Are you ready?" he asked me and I heard the teasing in his voice.

"All right Taiki, what's this big surprise?" I asked and I felt him remove the blindfold. As I opened my eyes I saw a huge ice cream cake in front of me piled high with all sorts of assorted ice cream, sprinkles and toppings finished off with a cherry on the top. As I gazed at it I thought that it looked like a Makoto creation. 

"Oh Taiki if I eat all that, I'll look like a big blob and would you love me still if I were a blob?" I asked Taiki laughing as I looked up at him and to my surprise he turned serious and went down on one knee in front of me. I looked around and saw everyone in the restaurant had stopped what he or she was doing to watch us. I blushed and looked down at Taiki who smiled at me comfortingly. I will never forget what he said to me.

"Ami, I love you unconditionally, it was because of you I travelled so far to be reunited with you and I swear I will travel across galaxies if it meant I would find you at the end, I know that we have only been together for six months but my love for you spans over eternity and always will, Ami will you be my wife?" Taiki asked me producing a sapphire engagement ring and I stared at him and with a look of amazement I took the ring from him.

"You know I will, I love you," I replied bending my head to kiss his lips gently as I put on the ring and around us we heard clapping and Taiki blushed a deep red standing up and taking a seat opposite me still embarrassed at the spectacle we were making.

"I love you Princess Ami," he said to me taking a cherry from the ice cream cake and popping it into my mouth.

We had decided to hold off our wedding until Crystal Tokyo. We wanted to married in the world of the future where we were sure our dreams would come true.  So we watched as Rei and Kaidou were married six months later. They were the first of the senshi to marry. Minako returned that year for the wedding, it had been three years since we had seen her but we had all kept in touch although Minako had forgotten to tell us one important aspect of her life. She was engaged to Umino. We found out this information at Rei's wedding and we were all happy and justly shocked. Minako always did like to make a scene. Another year later Minako and Umino were married as well. Lastly Makoto and Shinozaki who had been together for at least four or five years by then decided that they couldn't wait any longer and they also tied the knot. Taiki and I used to laugh that we were the first to get engaged and the last to be married but we didn't regret it, we had promised each other we would never regret anything we did. We married the day after Crystal Tokyo was created, before we found out that horrible information. Rei and Kaidou had only just returned in time for the wedding which was a simple quick affair but it was special to me because all my friends were there smiling encouragingly. Those were such happy times for everyone. Sometimes I curse the way I was inquisitive of everything. If I hadn't wondered why, when I cut myself on a kitchen knife, that the wound just healed back up again then I wouldn't have discovered that the senshi couldn't die and I would have saved everyone a lot of heartache. But everything did happen that way and I did do the tests, and I did ruin my friend's lives. Serenity's unhappiness is my entire fault.

I remember how my blood had turned cold when I had read the results of my experiments. Taiki had gone to get us both some coffee so I was on my own in the lab. I was holding the paper and I was sure my face had gone a ghostly white colour for when Taiki entered the lab he had stopped in the doorway and stared at me. On the paper I held was what I most feared and I watched as my hand began to tremble.

"Ami what is it?" Taiki asked abandoning the coffee onto a small table and walking over to me. I couldn't speak, my tongue felt like a block of lead and still in shock I just handed him the paper. Taiki glanced down at it and I saw his face harden when he read what I had. We both stood there in complete silence not knowing what else we could say. Suddenly Taiki scrunched up the paper into a ball and threw it in anger against the wall then reached over, grabbed a cup of coffee and threw that against the wall as well. I cringed when the cup connected with the wall and raised haunted eyes to meet Taiki's.

"That was the cup I gave you for your birthday," I said and then I laughed. Taiki watched me laugh and he gazed back at the broken cup and realised what I'd said was true. 

"I'm sorry Ami," he apologised coming over to me, as my laughter became sobs as he crushed me to his chest tightly as though he never wanted to let go.

"Why us Taiki? Why does everything bad have to happen to us?" I cried into his shoulder and Taiki could not reply as he just held me in his arms.  

It took me a few minutes to stop crying and when I finally did I called Rei on the communicator and asked her to gather everyone and get them to come to my lab as quickly as she could. She was a little disturbed by my dull tone but happily promised she would and giving me a little salute and a wink she went off to do as I'd asked. That was Rei, as we knew her now, happy and carefree much like Serenity had been when we had first met her though I never dared tell Rei that. Taiki sat me down on a chair and gave a deep sigh as he closed his eyes and furrowed his brow. I knew when he did that something was perplexing him and he was trying to think hard.

"What's wrong?" I asked him worriedly raising a hand to his face and running my fingers over his closed lids and Taiki opened his eyes, his eyes stared into mine with deep regret.

"Don't tell the others," he said simply and I stared at him loving him for his compassion yet hating him for asking me to go against what I felt to be the right thing to do. He didn't want to hurt the others by telling them this information that I had discovered and, bless his dear soul, I think he believed they would be better off not knowing. I wanted to agree with him, that it would be better that they didn't know but I knew that the others had a right to know so that they could prepare themselves for what was inevitable.

"I have to," I replied adamantly and before Taiki could speak I added in defence, "they have a right to know."

"It will destroy them," he warned me and I bowed my head not able to hold his eyes. I knew he wanted me to keep it a secret but I couldn't. In a way I was also selfish. I didn't want to have to deal with this knowledge by myself, I needed the other girls to support me and they would need my support when I told them.

"That's possible but they have to prepare themselves for it, I have a responsibility to them," I impressed upon Taiki who I saw was beginning to agree with me.

"They will not take it well," he tried to dissuade me again but I couldn't let him.

"You'd expect them too?" I asked him surprised but he shook his head.

"No of course not, but they are not all like you, Minako is very frail, as are the others though they don't show it," Taiki told me taking my hand a pleading look in his eyes but I pulled my hand form his and stood up to pace the room thoughtfully. The choice was mine and I knew inside my heart that I was making the right choice. 

"I have to tell them Taiki, please stop trying to talk me out of it," I begged and Taiki immediately sensed that I had made up my mind and he gave up and nodded his head. 

"Very well but I want to let you know I don't agree with you," he said and I walked to the door where I knew the others would be waiting ready to hear my news.

"I know," I said to him before walking out to give them the devastating news as Taiki followed me shaking his head.

That was our first and only fight and sometimes I wish I had done what he had asked and not told the others. But what if I hadn't? They would have wondered why they weren't aging while their husbands were, and I would've eventually had to tell them and they would have hated me for not telling them earlier so they could cherish even more the time that they shared with their husbands. I still maintain that I was right in telling them and I loved my dearest Taiki for his compassion for them. Perhaps because we were all aware that our time together would be limited we spent so much time together with our loves. Taiki and I took long moonlit walks, took picnics together and spent as much time as we could in each other's company even if it was just to sit together reading. Before he died Taiki used to just hold me in his arms and we would watch the sun rise together and I often wondered if anyone in the world was as happy and as sad as we were because we knew that soon we would be parted. Those times were the highlights of my entire life and now that they have passed I see only darkness ahead. 

How I loved him. We were so perfect together, and fate had to tear us apart. I know the other girls think I am past my suffering, that I have moved on from my memories of Taiki but they are wrong, so very wrong. I suffer at night; I suffer when I am alone, whenever I have time to think about my pitiful situation. Sometimes I am mad at the senshi for treating me like an inexperienced naïve girl but I am not. After all I was the first to remember in this time that I was a senshi. Apart from Sailor Moon I am the oldest senshi and yet the others think of me as naïve Ami. Gentle Ami who could never be angry and never hate. They are so wrong sometimes I laugh to myself when I think how mistaken they are. I am angry, I am angry with destiny for taking away Taiki, I am angry with destiny for not letting me be a normal person, I am angry with destiny for making me hate, and the one thing I truly hate? The one thing in the world that I despise among everything? Is myself. Why did it have to be me to discover our eternal life? I hate myself for being who I am. Isn't that a strange thing? For one to hate the very being that they are, but I do, which so much vehemence that I sometimes scare myself. I know the girls will tell me it wasn't my fault, but somehow I feel it is. The fact that none of the girls talk to Serenity is because of me, because of me and my damn insatiable want of knowledge. I knew one day my thirst for knowledge would be my downfall, and it was, it was. I know I shouldn't say this but I am angry with Taiki for leaving me on my own in this world. I know he had no choice, but he left me on my own and I can't bare it any longer, I can't. Taiki admired Serenity so much, it was because I promised him I would do so after his death that I talk to Serenity and I even find myself feeling better after talking with her. She always did understand how I felt, she understood how all of the senshi felt. That's why to see us, the senshi, so against Serenity, the one person who truly loved us, who despite all our faults, was the one who recognised us as special and praised our gifts, is so hated. I know Taiki wouldn't have wanted me to pine for him like this but I cannot help it. Perhaps one day my wounds will heal but I know that there will be scars so still I strive to do what Taiki thought would be best and try and go on with my life. And Serenity dear Serenity, she smiles at me from across the library and I can't help but be thankful I have her. I am thankful for the other girls too, even if they are not the girls I used to know I will always cherish the memories I have of them stored away in the deepest recesses of my heart. I love you my friends, don't let your unhappiness consume you, let it out, what would our husbands be thinking if they could see us today?


	5. The Diary Room: Venus' Diary

Venus

Sometimes, alone in my room I swear I am going crazy. I sense Umino beside me and I hear him asking me how my day was. I know that he is not there but I cannot help but reply, it all seems so familiar but deep down in my heart I know that it can never be. It hurts, it hurts so badly and what's worse is there is no way to stop the pain, there is no cure for what I have. A broken heart. I never dreamed my life would turn out this way. When I was younger, before I moved to Japan to fulfil my destiny I used to dream of being famous, to be the great Sailor V forever, and finally to marry a wonderful man and have two children, one boy and one girl whom I could spoil.

When I came to Japan I realised early on that my dreams could never be. Do you know what it is like to be told your dreams could never come true all because of destiny? Ha, destiny, it was just a poor excuse for eternal unhappiness. I sure as hell didn't expect to fall in love with anyone, not when my destiny as the protector of the princess was to be my future. I had never dreamt of falling in love with Umino or any the young men out there, I had been too busy being a senshi during school to think about any boys seriously. Umino was the last boy I imagined I would be falling in love with. Umino, the young boy whom we used to tease affectionately as the lovable high school nerd. Yet I did, and I will never regret it, I will never regret loving Umino, I know in my heart and soul we were meant to be. It had all happened so strangely, when we fell in love, as though Cupid had been at work between us. 

For some mystical reason we had applied at the same College and although we didn't know the other had also applied there I had a feeling that at College I would find the real me, away from destiny, duty, loyalty and responsibility. I was so amazed when I was accepted into College, my marks hadn't exactly been the greatest, with all the battles I barely had time to sleep let alone do my homework and study. I really don't know how Ami managed but I admire her a lot. I decided to study law and I wasn't the only student from Juuban to be studying law either, although I didn't know it before I arrived at College, Umino was going to law school as well. I will never forget when I first met him again for the second time. It sounds so funny to say it like that but I really did meet him again. I met someone new, not the old Umino but a whole new person. I had arrived at this new College away from the one the other girls would be going to I felt for the first time in my life that I was in control, not destiny. I had found an apartment a block away from the College which I knew would be handy, especially money wise as I didn't have much to spare. I also knew I would be rooming with another three people whom I had never met, I didn't even know their names but I was hopeful we would all get along.

As I had walked up to the door of my new apartment I couldn't help but feel a stab of longing for the friends I had left behind but I was looking forward to making new friends. I used my key to open the door and walked inside. There was a young man and young girl on the couch watching television and they had both turned to me as I entered. These two people were going to be some of the best friends I ever had apart from the senshi. The young man grinned at me and gestured for me to come in as he stood up.

"Hey, I'm Ryo and this is Karei, I guess we will be your room mates," he said pleasantly holding out his hand and I shook his hand as I studied him intently trying to make a good first impression. He reminded me immediately of Mamoru, except that his hair was longer and his eyes were green. He was the same height as Mamoru but he seemed freer with his emotions and extremely flirtatious. The girl smiled up at me from the couch and waved. I nearly gasped for Karei looked so much like Rei. Karei had ebony hair cut stylishly short at her shoulders and her eyes were wide and deep blue. Her personality was more like Usagi's, very bright and bubbly although she was very moody. I don't know whether I was missing my friends so much that my mind began to play tricks on me but everyone I met at this College reminded me of one of the girls I used to know. Mamoru and Ryo, Rei and Karei, and I had three other good friends whom were exact copies of my friends back home, only their personalities were different as were the situations between them. 

I soon learned that Ryo and Karei were a couple, having been together two years the day after I arrived. I couldn't help but wonder how different our lives would have been had Mamoru stayed with Rei and not fallen for Usagi. Obviously our lives would have been incredibly different, Rei would not have found her darling Kaidou, Usagi wouldn't have created Crystal Tokyo we would have been normal. Just a bunch of normal teenagers. Ryo and Karei were so beautiful together and they enjoyed themselves whenever they argued, always affectionately, and sometimes I did think that Rei and Mamoru would have been better off together. I mean when Rei and Mamoru were dating they seemed to me like a gorgeous couple, not that Usagi and Mamoru weren't, I just felt at the time and even now that Rei was more mature and on the same wave length as Mamoru. But would Rei have been better off with Mamoru and not Kaidou? I know I would have been better off if Usagi hadn't created Crystal Tokyo. My sweet Umino and I…we would have lived happily as two normal people and I would have died with him, happily died with him. I learned through the years not to dwell on such issues, on the fact I can't die and that I could never be with Umino in peaceful death, I found other ways to deal with his death, even if they did seem slightly crazy, I knew it was my heart's way of keeping him alive. 

Meeting Ryo and Karei for the first time was my introduction into College life although I had a lot to learn as far as they were concerned. I had been standing there holding my bags and I put them down as I greeted them both then scanned the room for the third roommate, whom I hoped was a guy. Karei saw my gaze and laughed.

"Bookie is in his room, says he needs to get ahead before the semester starts," Karei laughed pleasantly and I laughed with her relaxing and feeling at ease with Ryo and Karei who were so outgoing and friendly it was impossible not to adore them.

"Reminds me of someone I used to know…" and my words faded away as a handsome young man with short dyed blonde hair walked out of a bedroom carrying a mountain of books. He looked up and stopped short when he saw me. You know how people say there are times when they feel the world stops for them? Well I never really believed in that but when I first met Umino for the second time I really did feel time stop as I stared at him, not recognising him at first. I couldn't help but stare at his blue eyes that seemed enhanced for some reason I couldn't quite pick. The man however seemed to recognise me immediately as his mouth dropped open and a book fell from his stack but he ignored the book, he had eyes only for me. I guess I must have looked different to him as well. I had cut my hair short, up to my neck and wore it really spiky with a flower on my ear, but I knew my face hadn't changed and neither had my personality.

"Minako?" he asked in disbelief and something in his voice reminded me of someone I knew from Tokyo. Then it hit me and I stared open mouthed for a few moments at him wondering if my mind was playing another trick on me.

"Umino?" I asked and the young man nodded sheepishly and I just continued to stare. Ryo had been standing watching and he slapped us both on the back cheerily while Karei shot him a sneaky glance.

"Well you two seem to know each other I'll leave you to it, welcome to your new home Minako," he said winking at me first then at Umino who blushed deep red then Ryo went back to the couch to snuggle up with Karei who gave Umino and myself a questioning glance that seemed to say, 'you are going to spill everything to me about you and Umino'. I noticed his book belatedly and we both bent down to pick up the book.

"What are you doing here?" we asked in unison and then we both laughed, the thin ice between us breaking as our shock faded away slowly. I got to the book first and we both straightened I held onto his book and we both noticed that Karei and Ryo were watching us and not the television. Umino gestured to his bedroom and we both went inside to have more privacy from the two pairs pf prying eyes. We stood in uncomfortable silence and I glanced around his room. It was neat and tidy and was covered in pictures of Star Wars, and bugs, a strange combination but not for Umino. I found a spare chair and sat down when Umino gestured and he sat opposite me on his bed and we just stared at each other more. Suddenly I laughed.

"I just don't know what to say," I told him shaking my blonde hair and Umino ran a hand through his dyed hair.

"Me neither," he agreed with me and I leant forward and took his hand and squeezed it.

"Well just tell me what you are doing here, I can't believe we are both here together," I exclaimed and Umino laughed. We were feeling quite at ease with each other, after all we were high school friends, not as close as Usagi and Umino but we knew each other and what the other was like.

"Seems quite unbelievable doesn't it? I'm going Law school on a scholarship," he finally replied with a grin that seemed uncharacteristic for Umino but deadly sexy on the new him. I whistled in appreciation for his achievement in getting into law school remembering how hard Umino had worked in High School.

"I'm doing law too," I announced proudly and I smiled smugly as Umino's mouth dropped open.

"You got into law school?" he asked me and I heard the pride in his voice for it was Umino who had been my tutor when I had missed classes due to senshi business.

"What like its hard?" I stated quoting a movie that I knew he would have seen and Umino laughed appreciatively indicating he got the joke. He looked at the floor shyly, unsure of what to say. There were a few seconds of silence then I blurted out,

"You look so different."

Umino shrugged as though he hadn't even noticed the change or that he had become a drop dead gorgeous young man.

"A new haircut, some contacts, its amazing what can be done now with today's modern technology," he said not thinking anything of it, reverting back briefly into his geeky Umino nerd role and I couldn't stop wondering why I hadn't seen Umino like this before. That's when I started to feel very shallow for thinking how I used to act as a young girl and I felt embarrassed of who I had been and strangely proud that I was no longer that girl, because I knew who and what Umino had been and still I was beginning to fall in love with him.

"I like it," I said softly and Umino had blushed to the roots of his hair and Ryo had come bounding in announcing that lunch was being served.

That was our first re-introduction to each other and however awkward I will always cherish those moments when I first realised there are more to people than meets the eye. That night I told Karei everything about Umino and high school and how we knew each other and I felt like I was talking with Rei. I knew that next-door Ryo was having a similar talk with Umino and wondered what sort of plan Karei and Ryo were planning. I was soon to find out and I am sincerely grateful to them for everything they had done for Umino and I. If it weren't for them, by the second week of school Umino and I wouldn't have been dating, but we were and it was thanks to Ryo and Karei, those two match makers.

They had arranged a trip to the movies unfortunately they both forgot to invite anyone else other than Umino and I and then both Karei and Ryo accidentally forgot to come to the movies. Umino and I went to watch a movie anyway and we both enjoyed each other's company, I couldn't believe that this entertaining handsome young man was once Umino. The movie ended late and we were walking home through the streets looking up at the stars trying to see the different constellations.

"Look, there's the Big Dipper," I heard Umino tell me pointing into the vast sky and I strained to see but couldn't see any sign of the dipper.

"There's a Little Dipper," I lied pointing in a direction and Umino was quick to look but when he heard my laughter realised I was only kidding him and his mouth curved into a smile and he looked up into the sky again.

"Hey look there, that's weird," he told me and I looked up trying to see what he saw.

"What is?" I asked him curiously my eyes searching.

"You can see the planet Venus, usually you can't," Umino explained pointing and following his finger I saw a bright orange star in the sky that was bigger than all the others. I felt a strange pulling in my heart and I realised that indeed it was Venus, the planet of my birth and the origin, a planet I would never know except from a distance.

"Oh, how can you tell its Venus?" I asked him teasingly but Umino, as usual took my question seriously and his eyes lit up as he spoke.

"I love Venus, it is the most interesting planet, full of fire and warmth, and it is a bright and happy planet…kinda like you," Umino added shyly and he looked away from me. I didn't know what to say. I knew I liked him, I just didn't know how to say it. I wasn't like Usagi. Neither were the other girls. We hadn't been betrothed in the past, and we had never had any boyfriends, because we were not destined to have any.

"Are you calling me a planet?" I choked out finally when Umino didn't say anymore. I was trying to figure out how to tell him I liked him when he stiffened.

"Forget it, forget I said anything," he said taking my reply the wrong way and shoving his hands in his coat he walked on ahead of me. Aware I had hurt his feelings I struggled to reassure him I appreciated his compliment, which I really did.

"I love Venus too," I said placing my arm on his to stop him from walking so fast and Umino turned surprised eyes to me although they were sceptical.

"You do?" he asked in disbelief and I nodded watching the moonlight shine across his face. He looked like an angel, someone to guide me, to be my friend always and to be someone I loved.

"Uh huh, its special, like you," I whispered uncertain of what his reaction would be and Umino's eyes widened.

"Special as in good or special as in bad?" he asked me and I felt his hand take mine. This felt unreal but it also felt so right.

"Special as in good, silly," I said giggling and Umino turned to me and we were standing under a streetlamp I was pressed against his chest without even realising it.

"Mina-Chan," he whispered with a tortured sigh as I stared up at him and I felt myself waiting for him to bring his head down so our lips could meet. I closed my eyes and tilted my head waiting and I felt him press his lips gently to mine and as I reached my hand up around his neck he pulled away abruptly.

"What's wrong?" I asked wondering if I had done anything wrong but Umino shook his head violently.

"I'm sorry, I was getting a bit ahead of myself," he apologised but I grabbed his hand and made him stand and face me.

"No you weren't, I wanted you to kiss me Umino," I told him revealing my feelings and Umino looked at me and shook his head.

"I'm not your kind of guy, I'm the geek, the nerd, the loser, and you deserve someone who can treat you the way you've been accustomed to," he said sadly and now it was my turn to shake my head.

"Your exactly my kind of guy, dependable, sweet and caring, that's you Umino, your what I have been looking for, I have just been looking in the wrong places when my perfect guy was in front of me the whole time," I told him letting out what I was thinking, what I had been thinking ever since we had first met for the second time.

"You mean that?" he asked unsurely and I reached up to caress his face gently.

"Of course I do, I never lie," I told him truthfully and that was when he gave a wry smile.

"I know Sailor Venus," he said gathering me up into a hug which I returned as I asked,

"You know?"

"Of course, you should know Usagi couldn't keep a huge secret like that, both Naru and I knew," Umino revealed and I laughed shaking my head.

"Your right I should have known, so what now?" I asked looking up into his eyes and Umino pursed his lips together.

"Hmm…I ask you to be my girlfriend I suppose," he decided as we began walking again, hands clasp tightly.

"Oh well by all means continue," I told him grinning up at him knowing that he was my guy, this handsome young man who was sweet and gentle and very down to Earth.

"Mina-Chan…" he said huskily began to ask but I couldn't stand it any longer.

"Yes!" I exclaimed throwing my arms around his neck and hugging him once more.

"I didn't even get to ask…" he complained to me but I pressed a finger to his lips.

"You didn't need to," I told him silencing his other complaints with my lips.

A year of schooling went by and Umino and I grew closer and closer. The classes were hard and I missed my friends but I had new friends here, Karei had introduced me to her group of friends and we all got along really well. Those particular three other girls looked like Usagi, Makoto and Ami. Their names were Usara, Myka and Ariel and although they looked liked my three friends they were very different. The biggest difference was the Usara and Ariel were a couple, just like Haruka and Michiru. I saw that they loved each other very much and they had been together longer than Karei and Ryo, three years the day I met them. Ariel was much like Haruka in strength and attitude but she adored dressing up, and loved nothing more than to go to dinner and fancy restaurants with Usara wearing a gorgeous dress and being the centre of attention. Usara was the demure one, much like Ami only more so, but when she got drunk, as she often did at most of the College parties, she was as loud and rambunctious as they come. I found it quite hilarious that the quiet, serious Usara looked so much like Usagi and that Ariel looked like Ami; it was actually more hilarious than shocking.

Funny, I should have told the others about their look a like's along time ago but I didn't want to change the senshi's lives by bringing in my new life, and I wanted to keep them my special secret, something that was mine and not Usagi's. I don't hate Usagi. I resent her but I don't hate her, I could never hate her. 

I returned to Tokyo for Rei's wedding two years after I had left and it was the first time I had seen the other girls. I had kept in touch through emails and letters and I knew that Ami and Makoto had found two good young men as I had. The only real surprise for me was Rei's marriage to Kaidou. I brought Umino with me and while the girls were shocked at his change and our relationship they accepted him, as I knew they would, as did their boyfriends. I particularly appreciated the way Kaidou invited Umino to join them on his buck's night and invited him with the guys wherever they went. Of course all the boyfriends were not as tight we, the girls, were but they got along with each other and towards the ends of their lives during Crystal Tokyo they even created clubs, and although the clubs were dedicated to the past we knew in Tokyo I never went to them, for it only reminded me that soon Umino would leave me and I would be forever alone. After Rei's wedding Umino and I returned to finish law school and we both passed with honours. Umino and I decided to return to Tokyo and Umino opened a law firm while I worked as his secretary.

I was so happy back then before Crystal Tokyo, I never wanted for anything, I had the perfect life, married to a man I adored knowing I would die happily with him. And then that goddamn crystal had to ruin my happiness. I don't want to cry anymore, I just want to fall asleep and never wake up. Life for me has no meaning anymore, not with my Umino. I know the other girls feel the same way and I can only guess how Usagi feels. I remember Usagi once asking me if I regretted ever meeting her. At the time I had replied not yet but now that seventy years have passed since that day I think that I truly may regret ever becoming a senshi. But then I think of all the wonderful things we have done to protect the Earth and the Moon and I cannot help but be proud that I helped save the world. Perhaps everything was for the best. I can almost feel Umino's breath on my neck, and I can feel his hands on my skin, it tickles, I don't think that's normal but it feels so right. I have never actually told the girls about what I feel and sense about Umino, I fear they will think I am crazy but it isn't craziness. It is undying love. What can I do? What can I say to express how I feel? I feel as though a life has been stripped from me, I know I am but a shell of my former self. I see it through Serenity's eyes, in the way she looks at me, even now across the library she gazes at me, thoughtfully, longingly, she wants so much for us to forgive her. Maybe the time has come. Maybe just maybe the time has come to forgive, but not forget, I can never forget.


	6. The Diary Room: Jupiter's Diary

**Jupiter**

The stars really are beautiful. I never knew until Shinozaki had pointed them out to me one night before we were married, before our whole love relationship. I once asked Shinozaki how you could suddenly think of someone as a lover when they have only ever been your friend. He had smiled his special smile that I knew he saved for me alone and told me that the feelings were always there, they just needed to find the courage to surface. I thanked God everyday after that for allowing my feelings for Shinozaki to have the courage to reveal themselves to me. I can't imagine a life without ever experiencing the love Shinozaki and I shared. I know the other senshi couldn't imagine never loving their sweet husbands, their so very dead husbands, just like mine. I never talked to the others about Shinozaki and they never talked about their lost husbands with me, I guess we all felt that it was our private pain, something we had to deal with by ourselves, I think perhaps we were wrong in thinking that way. My handsome, dependable Shinozaki, I miss him so much, I know the others miss their husbands too but that doesn't make my pain less, in fact the pain worsens when I think of how unhappy my friends are. I hate to think of them unhappy. I know they always do what they can to make me happy. The others never knew that I began drinking heavily. How could I tell them? It all began after Shinozaki's death. At first it was just a drink here and there to help me through the pain, isn't that how all addictions start? Then it was a drink every night to help me sleep, followed by one every morning to get me through the day. After that it was whenever I could. Breath mints became my best friends, keeping from the senshi my dependence upon the foul liquid that gave me release from everyday pain. It was in these states of drunkenness that I remembered all the moments Shinozaki and I had shared. One in particular was when we first discovered our feelings for each other were real feelings that one held for a boyfriend and girlfriend. We had gone to a celebration festival together on summer's day. There were all sorts of rides, show bags and prizes to win and Shinozaki and I had enjoyed every minute we spent together at the festival. He had won me the hugest green dragon stuffed toy at the dart-throwing stand and I know we had both blushed when the loud man behind the counter handed me the dragon as he yelled,

"And this is for the pretty lady, your girlfriend hey young man? Aren't you a lucky young man?"

Shinozaki had turned to me a bashful look on his face although his eyes were guarded.

"Something like that," he muttered to the man grabbing my hand and dragging me away.

We had both laughed the insinuation off but later that day as we sat upon the carousel next to each other on separate horses I stared at him when he wasn't looking and wondered briefly what it would be like to kiss his sensual lips. Shinozaki suddenly turned to me and stared into my eyes with his deep brown ones and I felt as though he was aware of what I had been thinking and he, very slowly, leant towards me and I felt as though time had slowed especially for us. I closed my eyes and felt him brush his lips across mine briefly. As I opened my eyes I suddenly felt in my heart something for Shinozaki that had not been there before and I was both excited and frightened by it at the same time. We didn't say anything for a while as the carousel went round and round. Suddenly I found my voice.

"Shinozaki, I…" I tried to confess to Shinozaki my new feelings for him but Shinozaki had already begun apologising.

"I'm sorry Mako-chan I couldn't resist, I have wanted to kiss you for so long that I wasn't even thinking, forgive me," Shinozaki interrupted me bowing his head shamefully over the mane of the carousel horse and I took a deep breath to reveal what was in my heart.

"Shinozaki you know I would forgive you anything, but I won't forgive you for what happened," I stated surely and Shinozaki looked up at me fear in his eyes and I could see he thought that he had lost me as a friend but I just smiled at him, "because I wanted you to kiss me."

"You did?" Shinozaki asked in disbelief after staring at me for the longest time and I nodded slowly.

"Uh huh, only I didn't realise how much until you kissed me, please kiss my again," I pleaded and Shinozaki was eager to do as I asked but as he leaned across again he frowned as a sudden thought passed through his mind.

"Mako-chan, I know your usual guy type and I don't fit that place but I was hoping that perhaps you and I could become more than friends," Shinozaki asked officially and I reached over and took his hand in mine and squeezed it.

"There's nothing I would want more," I told him with conviction and Shinozaki smiled at me, a smile that lit up his whole face.

"Me either," Shinozaki agreed and closed the gap between us pressing his lips to mine.

And so it was done. We had taken the huge leap and crossed the bridge of friendship to set up shop in a palace of love. And I have never regretted it. How could I? This love brought me everything I could have ever dreamed of. Shinozaki understood me like no other, not even the other girls. When I was frustrated and a cooking experiment went wrong he was there to calm me down and work things out for me and it was because of Shinozaki that I opened my own restaurant. It had been a surprise for my twentieth birthday from my darling boyfriend who gave me everything. He had taken me to the building on night and even as I stared at it, all blank and dull I could imagine a restaurant in it even before Shinozaki had announced that the building was for me. 

"What are we doing here Shinozaki?" I asked curiously smiling knowing that Shinozaki had something special planned because he looked like he had a frog in his pocket, little did I know that it wasn't quite a frog in his pocket. 

"You'll see Mako-chan," he told me secretly and intrigued I followed him as he gestured that I open the door.

"This better be a nice surprise," I warned him as I opened the door, "I better not see any ghosts."

"SURPRISE!" voices cried out as the door opened and the lights turned on and as I gazed around I saw the faces of all my friends. I immediately turned to Shinozaki who was grinning like an idiot.

"You planned this for me?" I asked him throwing my arms around his neck and showering him with kisses.

"Well we helped too but I don't think I want the same reward Shinozaki," Minako added smiling mischievously as she came up to me and Shinozaki holding a large present in her hands and behind her the other three girls were standing there smiling.

"Thank you guys, so much, this means a lot to me," I admitted to them tears shining in my eyes and the girls all surrounded me and hugged me. I felt so special then, I knew they all cared about me so much and it felt good to know it. 

"Your welcome Makoto now lets party!" Usagi said happily gesturing to Mamoru to turn up the music, which he did, and bodies began dancing to music. Mamoru gestured to Usagi to join him on the dance floor where he stood waiting for her and after wishing me Happy Birthday again Usagi gracefully sailed across the dance floor into his waiting arms knocking one or two people onto the ground as she did so. Rei and Ami had kissed me on the cheek and then joined Kaidou and Taiki who were having an in depth conversation on the balcony. Both girls had begged their lovers to dance with them and Kaidou had given Taiki a desperate glance before he began dancing with Rei. I had laughed remembering when I had last watched Minako, Usagi and Rei dance with three poor young boys and stepped on each and every one of their toes. 

"Good luck Kaidou and Mamoru," I called out to the two men who were watching their girlfriends feet intently as I added, "you'll need it."

"Thanks for the support Mako-chan," Mamoru had replied looking away from Usagi's feet and then I heard his cry of alarm and Kaidou and Rei laughing followed by Usagi's apologies and I shook my head smiling fondly at my friends. Lastly Minako handed me the present and she also kissed my cheek.

"Open it later," she whispered to me before she went to join Umino and the two began trying out some crazy dance moves that were soon being copied by the rest of the senshi.

Motoki chose that moment to come over and he kissed my cheek softly.

"Happy Birthday Makoto," he told me in a friendly way hugging me and strangely I felt none of the crush I had for him when I had been in High School. I was both happy and upset about it as I realised my childhood crushes were now a thing of the past.

"Thanks for everything Motoki, don't forget me while your over in Africa," I said smiling up at him. Motoki and his wife, Reika, had decided to go to Africa so that Motoki could service the sick children with his skills as he had become a doctor and Reika could study insects. It was the perfect arrangement for them both but I sure was going to miss him, all the girls were. He had been a true friend to the senshi and we adored him for his brotherly advice when we were in need.

"As if I could forget any of you girls, I'll miss you all, especially you," he said winking at me and I felt my knees wobble as they always did when Motoki winked at me.

"I'll miss you too," I whispered and Motoki kissed my cheek once more and went to join his wife on the dance floor staring at her like she was his reason to smile leaving me to stand there smiling as I imagined Shinozaki and I married one day looking at each other the way Motoki looked at Reika. Shinozaki then came to me his arms encircling my waist.

"Should I be jealous?" Shinozaki growled in my ear and I laughed pleasantly.

"No way because you're the only guy for me," I replied simply and I turned to Shinozaki throwing my arms around his neck again with joy, "This is a great party Shinozaki, have I told you I love you yet?"

"Not in the last few hours," Shinozaki reminded me smiling cheekily and I kissed his lips once lingeringly.

"Well I love you," I told him happily and Shinozaki looked like he was about to fly to the moon and I laughed at him again.

"I love you too, now I have two presents for you," Shinozaki told me excitedly and I felt his excitement run through me.

"Two?" I gulped in amazement, wondering what two presents Shinozaki could have thought to give me.

"Yup, number one is this," Shinozaki announced proudly gesturing around the room.

"What?" I asked looking around at all the people dancing unsure of what he was talking about and I frowned at him in confusion.

"This building, for you to open up your own restaurant," he explained and I was speechless with shock.

"My own restaurant?" I finally choked out and Shinozaki laughed at me.

"It's what you've always wanted to do right? My family is in real estate remember? I mentioned you wanted to open a restaurant to my father and my father found this place and brought it for a reasonable price," Shinozaki told me as though it were really a simple procedure and I threw my arms around him again.

"Yes it is, oh Shinozaki, thank you so much, I don't know what else to say," I said giggling happily staring around at the building again and Shinozaki took my chin in his fingers and forced me to look into his eyes that were suddenly serious.

"I don't want you to say a word yet," Shinozaki said huskily and he shakily reached into his pocket, "Makoto will you marry me?"

Having said this Shinozaki had placed on my finger the most gorgeous emerald engagement ring I had ever seen and I squealed with delight as I admired it. I looked at Shinozaki my eyes shining then I smiled and contained my excitement.

"On one condition," I said and Shinozaki sensed himself being pulled into something, I know he did because his eyes narrowed playfully.

"Which is?" he asked curiously and I poked him in the chest.

"You become the maitre de at my restaurant," I gave him the ultimatum and Shinozaki looked shocked that I had considered him the person to take up that position.

"Done," Shinozaki punctuated the statement with a kiss then pulled me into his arms as we began to dance slowly swaying from side to side lost in the love we both shared together. Hours later, when dawn was almost upon us I lifted my head from Shinozaki's shoulder surprised to discover almost everyone had left bar the senshi and their loves.

"Shinozaki, our lives are perfect, I don't think anyone could be as happy as you and I are right now," I told him and Shinozaki looked over at the others who were all staring at their loves with open love and adoration and grinned down at me.

"I don't know Mako-chan, there could be some rivals," he teased jerking his head towards the others but I didn't even glance over at them.

"I stand by what I said," I said to him firmly and Shinozaki leant his head in closer towards me.

"And I will always stand by you," he swore to me kissing me once more.

Later that night I opened the present from Minako and the girls. Inside was a wedding dress, a white lace garter, a blue bracelet, dangly moon earrings and a special necklace with the sign of Jupiter dangling from it followed by a note.

_Dearest Mako-chan,_

_These presents are gifts from the hearts of us, your sisters. Shinozaki confessed to us he would ask you to marry him tonight and so we took the liberty of fulfilling the traditional rhyme for you. Come on Makoto you know the one; we had enough trouble finding all the things for it at Usagi's wedding. For your wedding you must have something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. Usagi decided to donate you her old earrings from when she was Sailor Moon. Rei donated something borrowed, her garter that she used in her wedding. Something blue from Ami was her bracelet and from me something new which happens to be this fantastic necklace. I had it made especially for you, I hope you like it. Good luck with the wedding, it will be perfect I know it. We are all so happy for you. We can all finally be happy. You deserve happiness, we all do.  So lets cross our fingers for each other and wish for a lifetime of happiness with the ones we love. It will have to come true if all of us wish it!_

_See you at your wedding,_

_Love Minako _

And so Shinozoki and I were married. We were actually the last couple of the senshi to marry, something that we didn't mind. Rei and Kaidou had been the first to get married followed by Minako and Umino. Usagi and Mamoru had married next even though I had caught the garter at Minako's wedding much to Usagi's annoyance. Shinozaki and I were the last couple to marry in the old Tokyo and Ami and Taiki were the first couple to be married in Crystal Tokyo even though they had been engaged for longer than Shinozaki and myself. I spent all my years beside Shinozaki, loving him, caring for him and he spent his life with me. The years passed by and before my eyes he grew older and older while I remained the same.

I was the only one of the senshi who was fortunate enough to be by the bedside of the one I loved before he died, and Shinozaki was the last of our husbands to die. I don't know if I was the lucky one. When Kaidou had passed away Rei had been sent to check the perimeters of Crystal Tokyo and check on the defence maintenance and when she returned and discovered he had died she had ranted and raved and screamed horrible things at Serenity, at everyone, before shutting herself in her room to cry her heart out. Umino had died while Minako had been accompanying Queen Serenity on a delegate mission to the other cities still left on Earth and when Minako had found out that Umino had passed on she shut herself in her room, and didn't leave her room for many days. Ami had been at the birth of Rini when Taiki had passed on. Imagine how hard it must have been for her to have to choose between saying goodbye forever to the man she loves or giving birth to a child of the woman who made it so she would live on and Taiki would die. I don't know what I would have chosen, I try not to think about it too much for fear I might think more of Shinozaki than Serenity. Shinozaki had beckoned me to his bed and gripped my hand with surprising strength for an eighty-five year old man. Even though his hair was grey and his skin was wrinkly, to me he was still the most handsome man in the whole entire world. I can laugh wryly as I think about all the strange looks people gave us when we walked through the streets of Tokyo dressed in disguise so no one would guess our identities holding hands with each other and kissing each other every so often. I know the people must have been wondering what a young girl like me was doing with a guy old enough to be my grandfather. What they didn't know was I was old enough to be a grandmother. Even as I sat by Shinozaki's bedside I was speechless. What could one say to the man whom she couldn't live without? I felt as though there were no words to express the torment I was going through. His hand was warm in mine and I nuzzled his hand with my nose gently and I sensed him smile. 

"Mako-chan," he croaked his eyes searching my face.

"Yes my love?" I said my eyes filling with tears and I felt his hand reach over and wipe them away.

"Do not cry for me, I can't stand to see you cry," Shinozaki asked me and I sniffed back my tears, eager to make his passing as pleasant as I could. 

"I don't want you to leave," I muttered to him and Shinozaki smiled up at me.

"I am not leaving you, I am always with you in spirit and my heart belongs to your heart as it always has," Shinozaki swore to me and I pressed a hand to my heart then to his lips.

"And my heart belongs to yours," I returned the oath and Shinozaki closed his eyes. 

"Shinozaki," I whispered endearingly and slowly Shinozaki's eyes fluttered open and after glancing around hazily his eyes focused on me.

"My brave, strong dragon," he said finally lifting a hand to caress my cheek soothingly.

"I thought you had left me," I said nuzzling his neck not willing to let him go.

"I will never leave your heart, remember that," he told me his speech becoming raspy as he added, "I am afraid I must leave you again, this time for real."

"No, its so unfair," I cried out pressing his hand to her forehead wishing with all my might that some of my eternal life would flow into him but all in vain.

"Promise me…promise me you will never forget me…unto the portals of death…and beyond," Shinozaki quoted an old Egyptian saying with his last breath and his eyes closed for the last time a strange smile on his face and his head fell limply to the side. I reached out with my arm to caress his cheek and I closed my eyes tightly to stem the flow of tears that were threatening to pour forth. In death he looked as handsome and loving as he did when he was alive. 

"Goodbye my love, farewell my heart," I said softly and, after pressing my fingers to my lips then pressing my fingers to his lips lightly, I turned and left the room not wanting to cry over him, he wouldn't have wanted that. He was given a beautiful burial. I didn't want to go to it. I didn't think I could stand seeing him being lowered into the cold earth without me beside him. In the end it was Rei who forced me to go. She told me that I had to forget him and this would be the easiest way to begin to forget Shinozaki and I realised it was her way of telling me that her being at Kaidou's burial had helped her too. Seeing the tombstone helped to remind me that Shinozaki was no longer with me and so Rei was right. The other senshi tried to help me deal with the loss but they were all still dealing with their own losses and I didn't find much comfort there even though I knew they cared about me their pain was so great that they didn't have the energy to try and help another person with a pain as big as theirs. 

And dear dear Serenity, a woman whom loved and cherished me and the other girls almost as much as our husbands cherished us, perhaps more so. Why can't I forgive her yet? Why? Because I knew that I should have died. I should have died along time ago and it is all her fault that I can't die. It's her fault that I can't be reunited with Shinozaki or is it? I know it's because of her love for us that I can never be with Shinozaki, ever. I don't know whether to be grateful for her love or not. It was her love that had saved me many a time from death and how ironic it was that now it was her love stopping me from death. I love Serenity, we all do, all of the senshi love her, we just find it hard to interact with the cause of all our pain. These past fifty years of hell that I have had to live through, I don't know how much more I can take. I can't stand to talk to her, I can't look at her, all I see is Shinozaki, in a coffin and I hear those thoughts running through my head. The thoughts that tell me I should have been there with Shinozaki, wherever he was and yet I can never be with him ever. And so I stare at the sky anywhere but at Serenity. I see Shinozaki's lovely blue eyes shining in the sky and I can almost hear his pleasant laughter in my ears, this life is torture for me and yet it won't end. I can't make it end; there is nothing I can do. I hate the feeling of complete helplessness but I can't escape it. Lately I have begun to think Hell would be a better option to the life I am 'living' now. I feel like the control of my life has ripped from my grasp and given to Serenity, which is probably a good thing. Shinozaki. Shinozaki. Shinozaki. He's been gone for so long now and I know he wouldn't want me to have pined over him like this; he would be so disappointed with me. Perhaps it is finally to time to leave him in peace and to make my peace with Serenity and the others. Perhaps, finally the time has come.


	7. The Diary Room: Epilogue

Serenity closed Jupiter's diary and knew there was not one dry spot on her cheek. After reading all the diaries of her senshi how could there not be? Ami, Rei, Minako, Makoto, she hadn't truly realised how much the others had suffered. You've been thinking about your own pain, as usual, a voice reminded her and Serenity wiped away her tears hurriedly as the senshi all walked into the room having finished reading the diaries of all the others, Serenity's diary included. Serenity could see that they had all been crying just as much as she had and she blinked slowly once as the senshi stood staring at her. None moved, none said a word. Serenity didn't know what to say, in actual fact they were just back exactly where they started except with deeper insight into the pain of the others. 

"I'm sorry, I never realised," Serenity apologised shaking her head and looking at the ground disappointed in herself and her selfishness.

"You couldn't have," she heard Mercury's voice say kindly and Serenity dared to look up at Mercury who was smiling a real smile, a genuine smile of friendship.

"We kept our feelings to ourselves instead of telling you, instead of telling each other," Jupiter added to Mercury's comment and Serenity turned to her hope shining in her eyes that had been dull for so long. A spark was beginning to show in the small smile that graced her petite face.

"I'm sorry about your parents and Shingo," Venus told her softly and a tear shone in Serenity's eye as she thought of her family but she blinked the tear away. 

"It's all right, it was their time to go, we had our time together, and I will always cherish it, that's all there is, " Serenity said shrugging her slim shoulders resignedly looking intently at Mercury, Jupiter and Venus. Mars had not said a word and Serenity knew it was clear that the others would not warm completely to Serenity unless their new 'leader' the Lad of Fire did so. Serenity turned her eyes unsurely to Mars and waited.

"As it was Kaidou's turn to go as well, I should have realised that my now, oh Usako all the time we have lost because of my stupidity," Mars cursed herself angrily allowing tears to fall from her eyes and Serenity immediately enveloped her best friend into a hug. Mars stood there stiffly, not knowing how to react to a hug from someone she had barely touched in seventy years.

"Rei-chan," she whispered endearingly and Mars relaxed into the hug and wrapped her arms around Serenity. 

The two felt the other three encircling them in a huge hug and they stood there for the longest time in a group hug, Mars and Serenity hugging tightly in the middle surrounded by Mercury, Jupiter and Venus. All were crying tears of relief, tears of joy, tears that they knew the others would eagerly wipe away. 

"Scout power," Serenity whispered looking into Mars' eyes.

"Scout power!" the others agreed fervently and a coloured light flew from each of the foreheads of the senshi and Serenity stepped back amazed as she watched ghostly figures of the senshi flow from out of their bodies and into the centre of the room. The four figures of the senshi moulded into one person and a young girl stood standing in the middle of the room wearing a dress that was rainbow striped. The four senshi and Serenity stared at the girl in disbelief while the girl stood smiling brightly at them, she looked almost proud as her eyes surveyed the four senshi fondly.

"Who are you?" Jupiter asked in incredulity staring at the beautiful young women who looked as though her features had been moulded with those of all the inner senshi. Her hair was silver and flowing, falling to her lower back and eyes that were specked with gold. The woman smiled gently; almost motherly as her eyes roamed the expectant faces of the senshi, her senshi, and four girls she had created.

" I am the Goddess of all senshi, I created you and you have all been chosen," she said simply as though she had expected the senshi to already know this. Her voice sounded like it echoed throughout the whole room, it was soft and husky.

"Chosen for what?" Mercury asked quick to question the words of the Goddess who glanced at her fondly.

"To be eternal, to protect this world forever," the Goddess informed the four girls who exchanged glances and Mars narrowed her eyes at the Goddess.

"Are we to be eternally lonely too?" Mars asked sarcastically and the Goddess frowned, perplexed, the frown marring her perfect features.

"Didn't you know? You all have chosen others, people with whom you are destined to be with over your lifetimes. Some reached immortality before you who are destined to be with them, and the others reached immortality after you, I have kept them with me in my other world and trained them to protect each of you," the Goddess revealed calmly and it was Mars' turn to frown as the Goddesses words ran through her head. 

"Over our lifetimes I don't get it?" she confessed and the Goddess reached out and touched Mars' face gently, running a cool finger down her cheek.

"Your lifetimes in the Silver Millennium, even in this time, as well in the past of Earth, why Rei, you were Cleopatra and your chosen other was Marc Antony," the Goddess told her and Mars gasped in amazement as her eyes glazed over and she saw a glimpse of the woman she had been, The Famous Last Queen of Egypt and she saw her brave and courageous Marc Antony, the man who had risked all to be with her. The Goddess moved on to Venus and touched her eyes lightly as she spoke softly to her.

"And Minako, innocent Juliet and your romantic Romeo," The goddess told her and Venus closed her eyes to see a vision of her as a young girl from the renaissance ages at a party, the party where she met her illicit lover, Romeo, the young man who had braved the laws of Verona to be with her in death. The goddess moved next to Mercury who closed her eyes expectantly.

"Ah Ami, the lovely Giselle and her Loys," the Goddess said smiling and Mercury smiled sweetly as she saw herself dancing through the forest with the one man she adored, Loys, the man who had been promised to somebody else but who loved her unconditionally.

"And lastly, Makoto, the beautiful Helen of Troy and your handsome Paris," the Goddess informed Jupiter winking and Jupiter's eyes glazed and she saw herself in a lovely palace with the man who had risked his life to be with her, and whisked her away from her domineering husband who married her only because she was the most beautiful woman in the world. 

"I thought they were just stories," Venus breathed in amazement, "I never thought they could have been our lives."

"The lives were real, you all should know this, you all lived those lives," the Goddess stated simply, "do you remember the Silver Millennium? The protectors of Prince Endymion, Generals Jedite, Neflite, Zosite and Kunzite" 

The Goddess winked implicitly and Mars's eyes widened in shock and she shook her head silently not saying a word. That's when it clicked for all of the senshi.

"Jedite, Kaidou they are one in the same," exclaimed Mars suddenly and the Goddess nodded indicating Mars' assumption was correct.

"As are Neflite and Shinozaki," Jupiter said in awe her eyes wide with amazement.

"Zoisite is Taiki?" Mercury asked in disbelief, amazed that her gentle sweet Taiki was once Zoisite. 

"Kunzite and Umino?" Venus laughed finding it hard to imagine the smooth Kunzite as nerdy Umino, her beloved husband, it couldn't be true and yet the Goddess was nodding.

"That's right, you see, you were destined to be with them, they are all, in essence, one soul mind, they just look different but underneath they are your chosen other halves," the Goddess tried to explain and Mars laughed scornfully.

"All our love lives were tragedies, how ironic, Marc Antony killed himself for Cleopatra as did Romeo for Juliet, Loys betrayed Giselle and Paris was killed in his attempt to keep Helen with him, does nothing ever work out for us, are we to be forever lonely?" Mars asked sadly shaking her head and the other senshi all exchanged knowing glances with each other. Mars was right, they were to be forever unhappy, and nothing would ever work out for them and the ones they loved, it wasn't their destiny. 

"It will work out this time, you have eternity to make it work," the Goddess replied and Mercury looked sceptical still finding it hard to believe about Taiki and Zoisite.

"What about when the Generals tried to kill us in this time? Was that their way of showing affection because I sure didn't like it," Mercury replied angry with the Goddess for tarnishing the memory of her dear Taiki with Zoisite's foul persona.

"That was not them," the Goddess was quick to reassure Mercury sensing the girl was near breaking point, "the bodies of the generals were given rebirth but their souls had moved on into the bodies of the men you four married."

This made Mercury smile as she thought of Taiki and Jupiter shook her head in astonishment.

"This is unbelievable," Jupiter said more to herself than anyone else and the Goddess clasped her hands in front of her body demurely.

"Yet very true," the Goddess impressed upon the senshi but Venus was lost in her own thoughts. There was silence in the room as the senshi struggle to understand and take in all they had learnt. Suddenly Venus looked up her eyes shining with understanding.

"Karei and Ryo…" she breathed and the others exchanged glances, knowing whom she was talking about as all had read her diary.

"Yes Venus, they were the soul minds of Rei and Mamoru before they were made eternal," the Goddess confirmed and that was when Mars frowned, almost embarrassed by the revelation as she threw a glance at Serenity who happened to be smiling gently regardless of the information she had received about Mamoru and Rei.

"But Mamoru and I were not destined to be," Mars argued and the Goddess sighed.

"No but sometimes situations can change in rare circumstances," the Goddess explained calmly and Jupiter finally spoke again, though very softly.

"So we have loved these men over many lifetimes?" Jupiter wanted to know and the Goddess sat comfortably into an armchair.

"Yes, not hard to believe when you consider how long you have all been alive," the Goddess, told them knowingly and then Mars asked the question that had been knawing away at the insides of the senshi

"So when can we be reunited?" she asked trying to sound casual and the Goddess winked at her openly.

"Glad you asked, I was beginning to think you didn't want to know, senshi I would like you to meet your chosen others, Marc Antony, Sea'rage, Falcon and Samson," the Goddess introduced and beside the armchair a porthole appeared and four young men stepped through the porthole unsurely. 

One of the men was dressed in Roman style armour, his hair was thick and golden blonde and his eyes shone sapphire blue. He was broad shouldered and looked to be something of a soldier. He surveyed the senshi eagerly and when he saw Mars his smiled brightened making him more handsome than he already was and he took a hesitant step towards her.

"Cleopatra?" he asked hopefully his eyes drinking in Mars' beauty and Mars blushed red, an unusual sight for the Lady of Fire.

"I am called Rei in this time," she said shyly blushing like a young girl as the young man stepped towards her again this time excitedly.

"I am Marc Antony," he introduced himself reaching out to take Mars' hand and Mars allowed him to kiss her hand eagerly seeing in this young man her darling Kaidou and even glimpses of Jedite.

"I know," she said softly unsure of what else to say and Marc Antony pulled her into his arms gently. Mars didn't resist as she stared up into his eyes feeling like she was falling through the sky. Without saying a word he pressed his lips to hers gently and Rei leaned against him lost in the kiss, a kiss she knew would last for eternity because that was how long he would be with her. 

Mercury and a young man stood regarding each other fondly. They recognised each other immediately as their destined others even though they were of different species. Mercury's chosen other had skin that was tinged blue, and she looked at his hands that were fiddling nervously and noticed that they were webbed. On the side of his face behind his ears she could see that he had some sort of gills. When he saw where she was gazing he looked ashamed of who he was and cringed but Mercury merely smiled. She didn't care about his looks, for he was the soul mind of her destined love. 

"Sea'rage?" she guessed stepping towards him slowly and the young man broke into a smile realising Mercury didn't mind his extra features.

"Ocean'song, I have waited so long to be reunited with you," Sea'rage spouted romantically, so sincerely and sweetly that Mercury didn't want to correct him on her name but he seemed to sense it straight away, just like Taiki could always read her mind, "but your name isn't Ocean'song is it?"

"No, I am known as Ami," Mercury told him and Sea'rage grinned even broader.

"Ami," he repeated as though he were speaking a sacred word and he took her hand in his webbed blue fingers and Mercury tightened her hand around his.

"Tell me about my life as Ocean'song," she begged him and Sea'rage seemed eager to do so but he added,

"And after you must tell me about my life as the one you loved."

Mercury frowned up at him and pressed a finger to his lips.

"*You* are the one I love," Mercury told him certainly and Sea'rage brought her hand to his lips and kissed her hand lingeringly.

"And *you* are the one I love," Sea'rage swore pulling her into a strong embrace and holding her tightly and Mercury knew that there were no other arms she would wish to be in because she knew these arms would hold her for all eternity.

Venus was unsure of what to do or say as she stood opposite the handsomest man she had ever seen in her entire life. The other three senshi had found their loves leaving Venus with a young man who sported two golden wings from his back reminding her of some sort of angel. His wings looked bird-like full of feathers and his long curls of sandy blonde hair brushed back into a crest. He looked to be half man and half bird being which intrigued Venus. His facial features were very human and quite mischievous. Near black eyes sparkled with specks of tawny gold and a cheeky smile covered his face and Venus couldn't help but smile back at him.

"I'm Falcon, although I am known by some Earthly races as Cupid," he introduced himself in a melodic voice and Venus' eyes widened in amusement.

"The God of Love," she said huskily and Falcon laughed pleasantly.

"Correct as always Aphrodite, my Goddess," he said affectionately reaching out to brush back a lock of Venus' hair that had fallen across her eyes.

"My name now is Minako, though you used to call me Mina-chan," Venus introduced herself and Falcon smiled understandingly as Venus reached out towards Falcon shakily as she brushed his crest with her hand. Falcon nuzzled against her hand and covered her hand with his pulling her hand to his chest near his heart and Venus could feel his heart beating beside her hand.

"Ah yes, Mina-chan, can you feel my heart beating for you?" Falcon asked Venus endearingly and Venus closed her eyes and smiled pulling Falcon's hand on her heart.

"As surely as mine beats for you," she replied to him as her heart began to beat faster as Falcon pulled her into his arms and rose a few feet above the floor by fluttering his wings slowly and Venus cuddled into his embrace.

"We were truly meant to be," Falcon assured her kissing her forehead and as Falcon leaned lower to kiss her lips Venus could only agree.

"Samson!" Jupiter cried out deliriously with joy throwing herself into his waiting arms and Samson clutched her tightly to him as though he never wanted to let her go. Jupiter felt as though her heart would take flight out of her body, in this young man before her she saw her husband although his physique and become more impressive, after all he was the worlds strongest man.

"Delilah, I have waited so long to be with you," Samson murmured to her raggedly too emotional to say much more. For years he had trained to protect his Delilah with only his memories of her to keep him going and now to finally hold her in his arms again was more than a dream come true, it was his life being given back to him.

"How could you just leave me?" Jupiter suddenly screamed pulling away from Samson to slap him heatedly across the face leaving a red mark that disappeared after a few seconds unlike her anger, "Do you know how much I suffered when I thought you'd died and then disappeared?"

Samson let her calm down for a few moments before he spoke again.

"As much as I suffered when I discovered that I had left you behind," he told her softly and sincerely and Jupiter felt horrible for hitting him and she enveloped him into a hug.

"Oh Samson don't ever leave me again, don't you dare ever leave me again, or you'll be sorry," Jupiter muttered over and over again kissing Samson all over his face caressing his face in her hands gently not wanting to let him go in case he disappeared again like in so many of the dreams she had dreamt of him.

"I wouldn't dream of it Mako-chan," Samson assured Jupiter, realising his mistake in her identity slowing her kisses and he tilted her chin towards his face and pulled her forward gently until her lips reached his in a kiss meant to seal a promise, a promise of eternal love.

Endymion entered the library and spotted his wife standing watching the senshi and to his surprise he saw their late husbands in the four men who were holding the senshi lovingly in their arms and kissing them with so much passion Endymion could see it made their knees weak. Instinctively Endymion longed to hold Serenity into his arms and he walked stealthily over to her. Serenity didn't even see him as she watched her senshi with a contented look on her face, she felt as though a big weight had been lifted from her shoulders and suddenly she had a longing for Endymion to hold her in his strong arms once more, it was a longing she hadn't felt for almost fifty years. 

"And what about us?" Endymion asked unsurely and Serenity turned to him not really surprised he was there as she had felt his warm breath upon her neck.

"What about us?" Serenity asked smiling up at him with love and adoration as she reached up and traced a cool finger along his lips. Endymion wound his arms around his wife's waist and thanked the god's and goddess's she had been returned to him finally. Suddenly he felt guilty. He didn't deserve Serenity's love, he had betrayed her repeatedly with Pluto, and how could he even think he deserved to be loved by her, his angel?

"Serenity…I have made a terrible mistake I…" Endymion tried to tell her but Serenity merely smiled and pressed a finger to his lips silencing his confessions.

"Endymion I know, we all have known, but you of all people should know I will always forgive you, everything you've done is my fault I drove you away, I am to blame for all you have done," Serenity spoke out sadly and the other four couples all turned to watch the scene unfold.

"If I weren't so weak, if I have stayed true to you…" Endymion tried to make Serenity hate him as he despised himself but Serenity couldn't.

"No if's my love, and besides you have stayed true to me, your heart has always been true to me," Serenity said pressing a hand to his heart and Endymion grabbed her hand and pressed it desperately to his lips.

"I love you Serenity, more than you could ever know," Endymion confessed to her and Serenity smiled serenely pressing his hand to her lips.

"I know Endymion, I love you just as much," she returned his vow of love and the other couples exchanged glances with each other, all of the couples delighted with the way their lives had turned out the returned to getting to know their destined chosen others. Sensing the privacy they had once again Endymion dared to say what he had been thinking.

"Never push me away again," Endymion whispered in Serenity's ear bending his head to kiss her forehead and Serenity tilted her head to look up at him.

"I promise you that with all my heart," Serenity told him sincerely staring up into his eyes and as Endymion smiled at her Serenity got a familiar mischievous look in her eyes that Endymion had missed seeing for the passed fifty years, "now do me a favour."

"Anything for you," Endymion declared gallantly as the spirit of Mamoru and Usagi came alive once more in Endymion and Serenity.

"Kiss me," Serenity pleaded whiningly and Endymion crushed her to him.

"As you wish," he told her eagerly bending his head to do as she asked.

From the shadows a sad figure walked from the doorway, away from the five happy couples and into the darkness of the empty halls. Crystal tears fell from her eyes as she thought of the man she loved in the arms of his destined love and the tears flowed freely, tears that she wiped away sadly with a heavy heart.

"Oh Endymion," Pluto whispered her voice choked with emotion, "I was a fool to think I could ever replace your precious Serenity, I cherished every moment we shared, even if they meant nothing to you."

Pluto created a porthole to take her to her gates and before she stepped through she stopped to stare back at the door to the room where Endymion was now probably kissing Serenity with all the fire and passion Pluto knew he could never hold in his heart for her. 

"I love you Endymion, I wish we could have been together, maybe in another time, and another place we can finally be together," Pluto breathed before she turned her back on the door and on any chances of ever finding true love. From now on, Pluto promised herself, she would hold no love in her heart other than her love for her duty and responsibility and to this day she has remained true to that love guarding the gates of time with all her broken heart.


End file.
